Tuesday, March 3, 2009

All is FAIR in Love

"Do you really think this relationship is going one sided and that you are the only one making efforts to make this work?"
"No, G."
"Then why do I get that kind of a feeling. That kind of a vibe from you?"
"G, there is a difference in being busy and not putting effort in a relationship. First of all, I really do not think, our relationship is at a stage where it needs efforts from me or you, for it to survive. Secondly, you are 'busy', my love. And that is it. Right now, you are busy and I understand that. Later, when I am busy, you will have to understand. We need mutual understanding, no efforts."
"You know, the last five minutes are the reason why I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
"Ah... Now you dare take advantage of that."
We laugh.
"I Love you."
"I Love you too."

*************************************************************************************

"I do not know why do people think T is beautiful."
"I don't find her beautiful too."
"She is just 'fair'."
"Exactly. I guess she looks good to us because she is a very sweet person."
Interrupting, my mother insists, "Look, by Indian standards she is beautiful."
Both, simultaneously, "No Mom. What is wrong with?"
"She is." Overtly emphasizing.
"Mom! Fixing up marriages has ruined your taste for good looking women."
"You can not say that about me. I love dusky women. They are the most attractive ones."
"Exactly. Dusky is sexy."
The phone rings.

"Oh! I am assuring you. The girl is very pretty. She is fair."

My mom loves fixing up marriages. And people love and trust her enough as well. She is quite popular. Everyone loves my mom.

She has been fixing marriages for over five years now. Fixing marriages is quite a funny art. I have always been very amused. Someone says 'I want a young, fair, tall, well qualified, religious, adjusting girl who would stay at home, take care of the house, in laws and raise kids.' Second demand is of a 'Tall, well qualified, 'well settled' (read rich) boy living in the U.S., who (of course) does not smoke, drink, have had any past relationships and a virgin.'

It is funny how these classifications assure them of having a good daughter/son-in-law or a wife and a husband. My sister got engaged to her husband the very next day after having met him. They spoke for about an hour 'getting to know each other' and decided to marry. He thought my sister 'looked' decent and sweet. My sister thought 'if my mother likes the boy's family so lets go ahead'. I still have not understood what has that got to do with her life. Clueless.

I just might spare the 'aunties' and 'uncles' who classify girls and boys into 'good' and 'bad' on some strange parameters, probably because they went through something similar. They lived in a closed society that would not allow them to make a sensible decision, ever, so they do the same to their kids. But I am left surprised how young men and women, sometimes even, boys and girls (because they are so young) have the same wants as their parents. Has the world come to an end? And the dinosaurs ate up all the brains?

The guy for whom my mom is hunting a 'perfect' girl strictly demands a 'fair girl'. They guy is 'well educated' 'not fair' 'settled abroad' 'well settled' 'not a virgin' (I guess), but rejected this damn attractive girl my mother introduced him to because he 'thought' she was not 'fair enough'. WTF! Are you going to lick that creamy face and imagine it to be whipped cream? WTF are you going to do with a fair cunning body? How the fuck do you plan to live an entire life with a FAIR BITCH? or a Religious Slut? or a Rich Pimp? or a Working Abroad Disrespectful Disloyal Husband? WTF are you going to do with the list of unreasonable pointers you have made to 'compromise' your life with?

It is funny.

No wonder Indian Arranged Marriages make a popular subject for Foreign made Indian Films or aspiring Indian/NRI writers. These books and movies are a tale of a country's stupidity, charm, insensibility. Me thinks, such check lists are also a form of dowry. It should be illegal. You do not have 'something' they 'demand', the marriage is called off. No wonder the cosmetic shops are overflowing with Fairness products for every skin tone and type.

Maybe, G's ex should try doing the same. She is one hell of an attractive woman. Her current boyfriend's mother says, "She is not attractive. She is dark." I was speechless. Her boyfriend's mother is also on the duskier side. And her boyfriend is not doing much to convince his mother either. She is one of the sweetest persons I have met. (Yes! Despite her being a very strong and loved ex girlfriend of G)And that asshole is probably going to lose a very attractive beautiful person. I feel sad for him. I feel sad for everyone who have lost or earned 'beautiful' people.

They liked the 'fair' girl whom my mother was trying to fix up for the NRI guy. She was fair. And she spoke exactly 5 sentences in grammatically correct English. :)

God Bless.

Love 'n' Peace.

Hugs.
Kisses.

P.S. - Life or Something Like It recently awarded me the 'Cuteness Blogger Award'. She says, "cuteness is unzipped". :) Thank you so much. My first, from a Blogger. WOW! Love you. Hugs 'n' Kisses.

28 comments:

Dip said...

i know! why why why God why is fair = beautiful !

i have seen so many weird looking FAIR girls... i just don't get it... somehow even I find dusky really hot.. a good face is a good face no matter what the complexion is. Halle Berry!!! J.lo... omg..

it's so so so STUPID to want to marry a woman who is FAIR.. it's like a pre requisite. weird! it's really pissing off...

Indian complexion is great.. I don't like white cockroaches

poo said...

:) I think there are two different subjects merged in together. first is if fair is beautiful or dusky is.. i guess both are.all up to the features. and then as for marriage fundas .. people have separate sayings on it..and its a big big topic.. even i havent' been able to understand till date.. what is reasonable here..

Jinxed Pixie said...

loved the post...totally...and i mean it...
there's this thing, especially in north india, about fair girls....and it's not just the oldies, my OWN classmates are obsessed with fair skin...
i have a best friend...she is dusky, and she is very very pretty, anyone will tell you that...
and next time the west goes, oh the porcelain skin is so out, we want tanned babes, then we think that only dusky beauties qualify as indian beauty...
P.S. : Dusky beauties can be chocolate, which is way better than whipped cream...

Anonymous said...

nice post...
lyk tht...

~kunal

floreta said...

thanks for stopping by my blog..

interesting subject! i have read about arranged marriages and some find it oppressive, yet some see the complete opposite. i'm not sure what to think. if two people can make it work though without their own choice in who to marry, then what the hell is wrong with the west?

Onthewingsofadream said...

so well written ....and so true ..

I have seen this people's obssesion with fair complexion...and I also like dark complexion(sply guys) , inspite of the fact that I am quite fair myself . In south India , my collegues , radom people you meet in parties , autowallas are all curious to know where I am from ...and they sigh and exclaim ' punjabi !! thats why you are soo fair' ...damn there is more to me than just fair skin colour.

but i hate it when I got all the venom for being fair in a country where its not dominant complexion ...while I was in hydrabad, one of my friend used to irritate me with her comments ,
' dont wear pink...it makes you look more fair'
' dont sit on that side ..all guys are looking at you'

' even that kid is attracted to the fair skin' WTF '

and when I went onsite surprisingly my client accepted me as one of them , she is so fair and modern ..is she really from India...
should I be happy about it ..no ..I am Indian and no firang , and I dont discriminate people of color and I hate if I am discriminated on color.

Som said...

We in our society is so perverted about fair skin, it is like still licking the British @#$ ...

Traditionally Indian society hasn't being like this, Draupadi who is considered to be most Beautiful woman in history (read mythology) of India was Dark ...

Arranged Marriage ... haha .. !! :P

T-REX said...

You alway come up with amazingly relevant posts..I recently escaped a well planned and executed marriage fixing attempt by my parents. They ambushed me with this really beautiful( read fair) girl and expected me to marry her because she was the topper of the class. Luckily I ascaped because our kundlis did not match.

hfm said...

I agree with you, fair has been the new beautiful for far too long in the Asian community.It's kinda horrid way of looking at beauty.
:/

Rose said...

Hmmmm...first of all i am fair...:S. BUT i agree its not about fair or tanned/dark. Its all about the face. Yes Halle Berry, very pretty.
I think its typical indian. People like it if the girl is fair, maybe she has a bad personality but nah she is fair....LOL.

Loved this post!

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Dips,

LOL. Exactly. White can be so boring and bland.

Fair skin can definitely not be 'burning hot'. Literally too. ;)

Kisses.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Poo,

The idea is not about Fair is beautiful or not. Beauty lies in the eyes of the Beholder.

The point is how 'people' think 'Fair is beautiful' and that is reason enough for them to fix up marriages.

It really is beyond our understanding.

Kisses.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Jinxed Pixie,

Oh! Licking chocolate is so much hotter than whipped cream. ;)

Kisses.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you.

Kisses.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Floreta,

LOL. That was a million dollar question.

It is the difference in upbringing and the society. Though it isn't like all arranged marriages work out successfully. Allot of them fail too.

Marriage is a very weird game. Sometimes unfair too.

Kisses.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Onthewingsofadream,

Good Lord! That is one long name.

There are some very women from the South too. Stupid are they who think fair skin is reserved for the North.

It irritates how even young educated women are conscience about complexions. Damn. Are we surrounded by fools or what?

Kisses.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Som,

I completely agree with you.

The fascination for 'clear' skin still fascinates the country.

Oh yes! I have heard this one.

Kisses.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear T-Rex,

LOL.

I feel bad for you. Having a wife who is a 'Fair Topper in her Class'. That is some good reason to tie yourself with her for an entire life. You will have very bright (pun intended) children. LMAO!

Kisses.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear hfm,

Bingo.

Kisses.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Rose,

Yes. Pretty much Indian.

I Love Halle Berry. She is H.O.T..

Kisses.

koolhead17 said...

/me wonders if there is anythin such as LOVE and if there is any would like to get it`s definition.

seems like you blog & blog & blog about LOVE & BREAKOFF

:)

americanising desi said...

yukhhhhh i so am not for this anymore.
it just fools...
i was fooled and it aint a nice feeling!

i dunno what it is about fair skin secondly. i mean wht.. ok so i have it too but i dont want it to b the only think to b noticable.. why should u not look skin deep and yet talk philosophy abt skin deep...

there is so much of pretence that meets the eye that i am blinded now.
guess that is more safe than sorry :( am i poisoned?

Kenneth said...

Come on now, be "Fair" with the following question

Are you fair?

PS - Well written

Saif said...

i completely agree with all that u have said. beauty has obviously nothing to do with skin colour.

also, i have never understood this arranged marriage thing. its really strange how people decide to live for the rest of their life after meeting only a few times. its really unimaginable ...

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Koolhead17,

YES. My Blog is all about Love and its family members. :)

Kisses.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Sehar,

"Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder."

"Beauty is skin deep."

Make me think. Which one to give more importance?

Kisses.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Kenneth,

I think I am 'being' fair to all the 'fair-ies' in this world.

They would love to be loved for more than that meets the eyes. :)

Kisses.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Saif,

Exactly.

Completely unimaginable.

Kisses.

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S.A.D. BLOGATHON ANNOUNCEMENT

Luscious Sealed Lips and The Sassy Spinster had announced a Singles Awarness Blogathon Week, from February 9th'09 to February 13th '09 to mark the celebration of the Singles Awareness Day on February 14th'09.

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Please do visit their blogs and read their special and interesting S.A.D. posts on Singleton.

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