Love is a Funny Game

"Were you expecting something?"
"YES! My Flowers!"
She laughed, "Your Black Roses have arrived."
She hung up.

"Oh my Fucking God!"
"What happened? Who called?"
"It was my sister. My flowers have arrived."
"Are they not late?"
"I was not here, remember? So, they are bang on time."
"Wow..."
Cutting in, "And they are BLACK ROSES! FUCK! I can not get over that."
"Black Fucking Roses! Where did he find those?"
"I do not know and I do not care."
Drooling. Looking up.
"You know. I must have told him some random time of the day that I love and crave for Black Roses and Good Lord, FUCK! I don't believe he has sent me BLACK ROSES!"
"Lucky Bitch."

I run back home. The distance from P's house to mine seemed the longest that day. I just could not wait to get home and see what do my Black Roses look like? What is written in that little card?

I bang open the door to an irritating sister whom I had to chase, scream at and finally bribe for a movie to give me my hidden flowers. I find a beautiful bright bunch of Red and Yellow Roses. The thought of Black Roses had vanished. They were flowers from G. My first Valentines Day flowers. What more did I need. So what, if those flowers were begged for, from G ;). My sister thought it was cheap of me to ask him for flowers on our first Valentines. I did and I am not ashamed of it. :)

"You got my flowers?"
Panting, "Yes."
"Do you like them?"
Still panting, "Yes."
"You sound disappointed."
"I traveled, ran and screamed too much for these flowers. The excitement is going but I love them."
I assured him. He understood.

I wake up to those flowers everyday. They are kept right up on my head. The first thing I see when I shut and open my eyes are the yellow and red roses protruding out of the vase.

He thinks, we women find happiness in very small things. True. All women I know love the small things more. In fact, this one friend of mine is showered by expensive gifts at least 5 days a week. She hates it. She has actually started throwing his gifts away. It is easier to please women than it seems. My sister proved it to me in a big way today.

She was on a verge of a serious divorce. This issue was not taken too seriously by neither her husband nor her in laws, despite my parents getting involved. She had all the reason to leave him and never go back. It is never about a mistake when we break relationships but about natures. Unfortunately, he has some serious problems, which we could all see.

"He is coming tonight."
"So, finally after three months he thinks he should come here and ask you to come back?"
She smiles. She has defended him all through her 7 years of marriage with this smile.

They talk all night. They talk all through the day.

"L, I do not feel anything. I know what I want. I thought, his face would make me doubt my decision, but no. It just does not. And I am happy. I do not want to go back."

Mom goes to talk to him and is out of the room in no time, sobbing. She could not see his 'Sorry face'. Momssss.

By the evening, we are expecting him to leave.
"I think I want to give him another chance."
I look her straight into the eye, questioning why?
"L, I am a God fearing person. I do not want God questiong me, Why did I not give this man ONE chance. Maybe he will change....
I have never seen him cry like this before. He is promising he will change. I want to try. I do not want to regret later that I did not give him any chance."
"You are doing this for yourself or God?"
"Both."
"Okay."
She stands looking at me waiting I would react in a more expressive way. I am too shocked to do that. She sits bside me.
"I want you to try and like him too."

She knows I do not like him. I have had a disgusting past with him, where he has felt me. Not once, but many times, despite the warnings, untill last year when I yelled at him in front of my sister. He managed to convince her that I was assuming and misunderstanding it all. Anyway. Fuck that.

"I will try, just as I did in the last 7 years."
"That was faking. I want you to really try. He genuinely considers you as his sister."
"Right."
This was our second uncomfortable long silence. The first, when just to make it easier for her and end the matter I accepted that I maybe assuming about her husband. The second was again in his favor.

"To be honest. I do not find your decision right."
"I know. I can see it all over your face."
"I fail to understand how can this decision taken in minutes be stronger than the decision taken in years?"
She expects me to understand and I assure her that I will.
"I will be happy, when I see you happy."
We end it there. Mom is happy because she thinks he deserves another chance on human grounds.

They all go out for a movie.

I stay at home. Speak to G. He sings for me. Coaxes me to tell him what is wrong, but I do not feel like talking about it. Its something that is making me think.

Am I someone who is always encouraging people to break off their relationships?

Every time I see P unhappy, I tell her to walk out of her relationship. I was the first one to support and encourage my sister to take this big decision. I have always believed, if you are not happy in a relationship, move out. Do not make a joke out of it by dragging it on some silly grounds. I have encouraged break ups and divorces for one reason and that is to make them believe that 'it is alright to move on and choose a happy life for yourself.' But, am I wrong? Am I, the one taking rash and harsh decisions of breaking up a relationship? (even if it is for ohers) It makes me go crazy. I do not want to be responsible for encouraging people to break up. I just want to encourage people to love themselves and be happy.

She asked, "If G asked you for a second chance, would you give it to him?"
"Depends on how much has he hurt me?"
"I agree. Yet?"
I did not answer. I knew my answer. I would not.

He called. We spoke. He sang to me. Narrated some stupid Pineapple joke, just to make me laugh. I would.

I love G so much that I would give in to the demands of my heart and give him another chance if he'd hurt me to the extent of a break up. And just then, I hear a door bell, as if my moment was being filmed for a Bollywood Feature.

"It is a courier for you."
It is from G. There is my Valentines Goody Bag. A pair of beautiful earrings, I can not wait to wear for him. Two DVDs he had promised he would send me. A box of heart shaped dark chocalates which I was praying for just a minute back to help me stop the unstoppable tears. And my Valentines Day card, which said, "we are fucking good tiogether." We are.

Love is funny. When they come back from the movie. I will help her believe that I accept her decision. Though I desperately pray she sees a far better future with him, now. And lives happily ever after.

I Love you G. No matter how hard I tried keeping you away from my troubled state. You were there to make me feel good, in the form of flowers, songs, cards, chocalates and in thought.

Thank you God. I Love you. Happy Valentines Day to all of you! Special V Day Hugs and Kisses.

Love 'n' Peace.

Hugs.
Kisses.

?

11/30/2008

The recent terror attack in Mumbai was completely terrorizing. It has scared me. I feel like a cat hiding under a bed after having walked over the house's favorite pet Bull Dog's tail. Depressing.

Anyway, I was busy traveling all of these days, so came no posts. And then, there was a friend's wedding. That was great fun. Nice and chilly, too. We danced, drank and did not get drunk. I really wanted to. My friend freaked out. Thought her parents will object. I understand that. But I really want to get drunk one day in a different city with newly made friends, who would not want to take advantage of the situation. Making out or having sex with someone you do not know in a drunkard state in not my idea of fun.

Come to think of it, if I was not seeing G, making out with a hot guy in a semi drunkard state could be fun. BUT NO SEX. I have issues with Random and Unsafe Sex.

Tomorrow is AIDS Day. I feel bad for all those who are unaware. And hate those who intentionally want to pass it on.

G has had women before me. It did hit me one day. More for him than myself, I was concerned. We spoke about it. Thankfully, he too swears by safe sex. He has gotten himself tested too. He is safe.

It was an awkward moment between the two of us. I felt as his friend at that moment. It hit him hard, "because my girlfriend is asking me questions like these."
*************************************************************************************

12/13/2008

I wrote the previous lines, but did not get the chance to complete and post. My sister had come down. She is probably that one person in my life, for whom you can live, die, kill, simply do anything for. She is like my mother. She has spoilt me. Brought me up. She is nine years elder to me. And we are poles apart. Today, she is nearing a divorce.

My sister was not happy in the past 7 years. She never spoke of it, but I could feel it. I joke about it to her. Reassure her that she would fine. Her future - better. Way better. But it hurts me to no extent to see that pain which she has gone through. Today when she has for the first time made a decision on her own, everyone around me not only realizes how much she must have really suffered but makes me proud that finally she is taking a decision.

What she will study - Parents' decided.
Who will she marry - Parents' decided.
Whether she will work - Husband decided.
Where will she stay - Husband decided.
How much will she eat - Husband decided.
She lived. She smiled. She did not complain.

This is her first decision. She has never done anything in life for herself. If, since last night she is thinking of giving him another chance, it is because he is asking for it. She really does not want to go back.

Luscious apologizes to her readers for being away. But I feel sad. I feel terrible. I feel helpless. Luscious can not love and care about anyone more than her sister. Luscious wants her sister to be happy. To be free. For once, live her life. For once, give herself a chance.

I Love you.

If you leave me now....

Read each word of this song.

If you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest part of me
No baby please don't go
If you leave me now, you'll take away the very heart of me
No baby please don't go

A love like ours is love that's hard to find
How could we let it slip away
We've come too far to leave it all behind
How could we end it all this way
When tomorrow comes well both regret
Things we said today

A love like ours is love that's hard to find
How could we let it slip away
We've come too far to leave it all behind
How could we end it all this way
When tomorrow comes we'll both regret
Things we said today

If you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest part of me
No baby please don't go
Oh girl, just got to have you by my side

No baby, please don't go

Oh mama, I just got to have your lovin, yeah

We've come too far to leave it all behind.


Just after having finished crying alot and realizing that I have not cried so much in my life ever since I have been with G. Be it 'happy' crying, 'missing you' crying or 'what is happenning with us' crying. Yes, I am to most people's surprise overtly sensitive. It surprises me also, sometimes.

G and I have not been talking the way we do. It is tiny yet, there are issues, there is being upset, there is the 'wrong time for pampering'. I am being a pain in his ass. I seem to be finding everything wrong in whatever he says or does. It reminded me of what my ex said to me "I am not meant for relationships." Like a fool (or not) I believed him and maybe still do.

G has issues with my weight. I know. I understand. But either he still does not know or has forgotten that pushing me towards something makes me averse to it. Joke or not. I have all of a sudden begun to take this a little too seriously. I know how to take things lightly. This time G is probably over doing it. This time I am not being demanding or unreasonable. This is hurting me.

It has nothing to do with me not being able to come to terms with my boyfriend not liking me the way I am. Come on! Lets get real - WEIGHT IS AN ISSUE. But it makes me feel like it is probably too big an issue for him. Or... forget it... He is just overdoing it, I know. I am over doing it. I am over reacting. I am getting overtly sensitive.

A relationship never has problems. Its we, who have issues with ourselves.

I have it too. I was going to blame it all on my relationship to the extent of stop seeing a future with him. I stopped. Could that be a solution? My mind blocked. I could not talk to myself. I could not hear me. I just needed some time off. For over four months I have been nothing but a 'woman in love'. It was high time I needed to be with myself. To be away. Even from G. Maybe specially from him.

Decided to switch off my cellphones and just hibernate without caring about any important call or messege. Just when I decided this and come online to update my blog. G is online. Makes me hear a song.
"I've already heard it."
"I am sad. Very sad."
"Why?"
"Making you hear good songs is only my job."
I wanted to hug him so bad at that moment. Did not.

We spoke. Me, rather coldly, making efforts to sound normal. I keep my headphones away. Playing chess on the internet, my eyeballs catch 'Realplayer : If you leave...' I wear the headphones. It is the first song that G dedicated to me. We love it and we mean it. Decide against switching off the cellphones and come to my blog.

It would be so hard for me to not talk to G. It was probably one of my terrible mood swings and phases where I get extremely pessimistic about my relationship and start finding cracks where it is hard to find. I broke up with my ex a billion times in four years because of my same attitude. He finally got engaged when I last broke up with him and vanished from his life without saying anything.

I do not want to make the same mistake. I love him a little too much than my capacity allows. It really is 'unconditional'. Even though he sounds like my father allot of times (Yes, I am not one of those girls who like to marry men like their fathers. My father is a great guy, by the way.), I will still marry him. And if he hurts me no, I'll sit on him and kill him with my weight. JERK! ASSHOLE! SWINE! BUGGER!

I hate him, I swear!

BITCH!

I love you G! If you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest part of me...

Love 'n' Peace.

Hugs.
Kisses.

P.S. : I still need time off. I still need a break from him. But not now. I am enjoying being the 'woman in love'.

ZZzzzzz....??

For my extremely few and beautiful regular readers, "If you thought I was dead or was busy shopping for Diwali, you are fairly right. I am broke to the extent I still have not paid my friend Rs. 300/- that I had to for a top up, but I am so bored that I could be dead."

G and I have had phone sex exactly four times in a month since I have come back. He says, "We have grown up." Are we heading for a break up, here?"

I finally saw a porn clip yesterday. It was my second. Saw the first with G. Once, P and I had decided we will watch porn. It has confused us our entire life, why are men so hooked to porn and women hate it. P had seen porn before and had read a lot of soft porn stories. We tried. Googled "Porn". Clicked on the first link. Alot of thumbnail pictures came on the screen. They WERE disgusting. Pictures of clitorises. Funny how most women are grossed out by pictures of female porn stars (do not know about the male ones ;) ) and men on the other hand find it equally or more sexually stimulating. P and I closed the page without even letting the entire page open up. I felt like an arsehole for some days, "WTF! I became an adult long back and I have still not watched porn." That, was the only reason why I wanted to watch porn. Have seen two video in the past one year, since I had tried for the first time. I seem to have no opinions about them anymore. Makes me feel like a 20 year old man, 'normal'.

I just opened my Facebook account. Saw G's ex's picture. She is on my list. She is a fucking attractive woman. G loved her to no extent. They broke up because of her parents. She and G got in touch recently. She was the only friend of G, whom I met on my trip. She seemed extremely sweet too. We got along well. She is on my 'friends list'. But it pricked when G went over to her place for an evening with friends. I tried not to let him know that. But I finally did, after a week. He going to her plac, hanging out with her, staying with her till 3 a.m., going for a long walk at 2 may not have hit me the way her constantly telling him how happy she is to have him back in his life, did. After knowing, where she comes from, it is understandable. She is new in the city and unhappy. Finding an old close friend makes you feel good. I understand. I am okay with it. I have no 'ex' issues. But, it made me uncomfortable somewhere. This was the first issue between G and I, where I let out my thoughts to a friend before telling him. The friend thought I was being insecure. She is gorgeous - I am fat. H probably loved her more. She knows him better than I do. They are in the same city. I am not. Yet, there were no insecurities. I would like to believe I am way above all of this. G agrees, "We are way above all of this... The fact that the two of us can discuss something as sensitive as this so casually proves that." A strange assurance was felt. Not like I needed it, or so I assumed. G - "Are we good?" ME - "We are brilliant." And shall remain despite him getting a hard on 5-6 times a day.

"I am very sweet."
"No. You are fat."
We argue over that for over 10 minutes.
"You will never reach 55."
"Good. Atleast that would lead to a break up. Let us divorce now, only."
"No. You become 55 and then I will divorce you."
We argue for another 10 minutes.
"You are forgetting. The contract says, 'we have to have break up sex'."
"No. Because that break up would lead to make up sex then break up then make up. It will become a cycle and we would turn into the typical couples, then."
"What color panties are you wearing?"
"Pink."
"I got a hard on. (laughs) From where, I don't know."
"What is wrong with you? How the hell do you manage that?"
"I get a hard on 5-6 times a day."
Jaws dropped. Silence.
"What?? Don't be scared. I do not help myself every time. If I did, I'd be dead."
"What are you talking, G? 5-6 times!?" The mouth is still open wide in shock.
"All guys get it around 2-3 times everyday. I am among the more sexually active brigade. We are called sex addicts. But I do not think I am an addict."
"Do we have loyalty issues here?"
"No. If I was an addict I would have had a girl for sex here, not a long distance relationship with you. Sex addicts are averse to relationships."
"Okay..."
"Look. You do not have to be so shocked. If a man is free, on a holiday or has nothing on his mind, he gets a hard on."
"WTF!"
We ROFL.
"I am brilliant. What a pervert thought 'When a man has nothing to do, he gets a hard on.'"
We can not stop laughing now.
"Don't worry, I will not act up on you every time I get a hard on."
"Then who?"
"No one."
"Good. Good."
"But I will try, if there is no reciprocation, then I can not force you."
"Yes. Because if you do, you will be slapped and jailed."
"Fine. I will not let you touch me, only."
"OH MY GOD! Look at what this guy is saying..."
"Yeah right. Men are born to take 'I will not let you touch me' from women but men can not give that to women."
Laughs.
Come to think of it. Isn't it so true? LOL! Poor male species.
"Want to have sex, without cuddling?"
"It is such a give and take for you men, isn't it? You get sex so you give cuddling."
"Obviously."
"Swine."
"Coming?"
"There is no reciprocation."
"Okay then, Bye."
"Okay. Bye."
"What ya...? Why are you getting angry now?"
"Like I have nothing better to do in life, than to be angry with you."
"You are eating up all my Prison Break time. You are eating up my work time. Bloody Bitch!"
"You only gave me that 'chick' type Bye earlier which re started the whole conversation."
"Once a Bitch, always a Bitch!"
"Yes and G is a living example."
"What are you going to do, now?"
"I am answering that for the fourth time, now. Nothing!"
"Do something no. Why do you not want to do anything?"
"Alright G, Bye!"
"What ya?"
"Good Lord! You are boring me to no extent now. Bye ya!"
"Okay. Bye bye!"

We hang up. G has fulfilled his duty of making me laugh everyday, for today.

Love 'n' Peace.

Kisses.

GOOD Morning!

"Good Morning."
"Good Morning."
"Getting ready for work.."
"Yes. So I will have to call you later."
"Okay."
"I love you. Bye."
"I love you too. Bye."
Big grin, which is still on.

Woke up with this urge to hear 'I'll b there for you', FRIENDS' title song by Rembrandts. Just downloaded and updating the blog which I was dying to do since last night.

Today it feels I will FINALLY be good and normal now! Last night, again I got 'that' way.

"G! My family is leaving for dinner, but I do not feel like going, so I am going to be home alone now."
"I know whats on your mind. But I just shook in the evening."
Wow! Don't you want to kill him right now! YES!
We tried having phone sex twice the day before but we had just started with "What color panties are you wearing?" when my door would get knocked and Haha... "I'll call you back" Arggh!
"Okay. That's alright."
I still want to kill him.
"It had been 3-4 days."
"Yeah. I understand."
Bitch!

We talk, after a long time.
"I just realized we are talking talking after a long time. We did not do that since you left."
"Yes. Happy Realization!"
"What? Why are you being that way?"
"What way?"
He gives up.
"Bloody I have spent days crying on the phone saying the same and now he realizes."
"When did you cry?"
Wow! Anyone reading this, Can you please kill this fella!
Now, I give up.
We talk.

"Fatso!"
"Yeah, so? You will anyway divorce me if I do not reach 57 in the next six months."
"Yes. That I will."
"After that I'll become 57."
Confused.
"Look. You will leave me. I will cry for some days. Go into depression. Eat ALOT during depression. After that I will start losing all my weight."
After some time I hear him singing 'Please forgive me' by Bryan Adams.
G said he will sing this song for me whenever he hurts me. He loves this song and has not only dedicated it to me once. (He has not given himself that chance I guess.)
He is singing. His friends think he sounds like Bryan Adams. I could not notice I was busy crying.
"So, how did you like it?"
"Why did you sing this song for me?" (sniffing)
"Because I thought you would like it."
And I thought he thought he has hurt me with the whole weight talk. Even though he did not, yet.
"Okay."
"Did you like my Bryan Adams voice?"
"Hmm."
"Are you crying?"
"No." (sniffing)
"Was I that bad?"
"No." (smiling)
"Are you tired?"
"No." (frustrated)
"Okay."
I am STILL sniffing! Either he is ignoring or he is really dumb.
We talk.

"You will never leave me no?"
"Never."
"Even if I do not turn 57."
"No..."
"You..."
"But I would like you as 55. I can not help but be honest."
"That is good. I am glad."
We talk.

Perfect timing for his friend to call and ruin the conversation. I am drop dead tired too after my gym so I drop on my bed. Call him. His phone is engaged. WTF! That phone is used only to talk to me. His friend called on the other phone. Why the fuck is this one busy? I call on his other phone.
"What?"
"I am busy on the other phone. Will call you back."
"Okay."
I am lying on my bed, thinking, re thinking about how we hugged at the station when he came to pick me up. About how he was going to drop me at a friend's and as soon as this one guy got off the lift, he turned, I pulled him over and we kissed so passionately, feeling his hard on through his pants between my legs, squeezing my breasts. That was 'the hottest moment' of the trip. And then how we reached this unknown tiny town that can be covered on foot in half an hour. There was no power, there. A beautiful dhaaba with a lantern. Perfect lighting. Perfect drizzle. Sea surrounded. We had reached that town on a ferry. Saw the sun set on that ferry with him. Had tea at that dhaaba. We spoke of our careers. Life. Everything but US. It was the perfect date. Walking in the rain in that town. Turned on. I had my hand in his jeans' back pocket, secretly squeezing his butt in the darkness of the night, stealing kisses, grabbing the breast. Desperate to find a corner to make out, but a small town and too many people to take the risk. After an hour we start walking back towards the ferry. We stop at the bridge. Lean on the railing. (I had always seen this in the movies. It looked exactly the same. Could not let the moment go away. And I had always wanted to do this.) We kissed. We held each other tight. Wet bodies. The breeze was chilling. There was the sea all around. Some ferries parked at the shore. The moon light. G and me. We kissed more passionately, like some two characters kissing in the end of a Mills and Boon story. I could feel him hard. My leg on the railing. Arms around his back. His around my hip. Lips entwined. Just could not stop kissing. Feeling each other. Subtly dry humping in the middle of the lonely bridge.
"Are you wet?"
"No. I am in love."
"Oh!"
ROFL.
This was the highlight of the trip. Funny. Sexy. Beautiful. We laugh like crazy whenever we think of the "Are you wet?" conversation. And then we left on a crowded ferry, doing what I had always dreamed of.

On our way to that small town on the ferry, "You know G. Every girl has a dream place where she wants to kiss her guy."
We look into each others' eyes.
"Mine was a ferry. In the middle of the sea."
"There are too many people right now."
"I know. I understand."

Now, on our way back. It was dark. We kissed and kissed. Held his hard cock, without anyone knowing what was happening in our little corner on that overtly crowded ferry.


G calls back. I am tired. Cranky. We are talking.
"One day I will behave the way you are behaving over the phone."
"Now, what did I do?"
"Look at you. You are not talking only. Silent."
"I am sorry."
"No. Don't be sorry. You are just tired and drained, yet you just want to hold the phone."
"No. It is not that. We will talk later."
"R!"
"What?"
"You have been like this for so long."
"You know, I was crying when you were singing 'Please Forgive me' for me."
"Yes. But why?"
"Because I am falling too much in love with you. I love you more than my life, myself..."
"Ever since you have gone back, you have become so sentimental and emotional. I understand I am your first love and all that."
Alright. Here the guy is wrong. He knew about my ex and I loved him too. I probably may not have loved so much, though.
"I probably love you more that my career."
This was a BIG statement. I did not love my ex more than my career. I don't love or give importance to anyone more than my career.
"No R! I don't want that. I do not want you loving me more than your career. One of the reasons why I got attracted to you because you were not one of those typical girls."
Wow! Now, I know why I love him more than my career. Because he allows me to love my career, the most.
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For being this way."
"Okay. Now go to sleep."
"No. I want to stay on the phone."
"What ya?"
I start crying.
"This reaching the next level in the relationship is not doing me good."
"It is just the hormones."
"Bastard. It does not last that long."
"Okay."
"I have just fallen in love with you too much. Have become emotional about you."
"We will go back to our previous level. Okay?"
"No. You will always be there with me no?"
"Always."
"G! You seem very unreal to me."
"Unreal? I?"
"Yes. Why would you want to be with a woman like me."
"Why do you think of yourself as a 'woman like me'? You should instead think 'woman like me' (with pride)."
"Yeah. I do. But..."
We got emotional talking about how unconditionally we love each other.
"Do you know how amazing that feeling is to know someone loves you unconditionally."
"Now. I do."
"I love you unconditionally, G."
"I love you unconditionally, R. I really want to take you right now. But my mom will be back any moment."
"Me too. But my family is back from the dinner too."

We continue on the phone with silence and I love yous.
"Go to sleep R."
"Okay. But remain on the phone till I go to sleep."
"What ya? What is this?"
"No. Just remain on the phone until I sleep."
"How will I know you have gone off to sleep?"
"Ask me. If there is no reply that means I am asleep."
"Okay."
He kept asking me that after every 40 seconds. How the hell am I suppose to sleep if he keeps disturbing me every 40 seconds.
"Are you holding me?"
"Yes."
....................................
....................................
"R?"
"G! Please ask me after ten minutes."
"Okay. Can I watch the T.V.?"
"Yes. But please keep the volume low. I do not want to be disturbed no."
"Okay. Good night."
"Good Night. I love you."
"Me too."
I can hear the television in the background. Imagination is the best gift God has given us. I could imagine him right there. Watching the television. Me sleeping beside him. Holding his hand. After 10 minutes.
"R?"
Almost asleep.
"R?"
"Hmm"
"Sleeping?"
"Hmm"
"Okay. Now I am keeping the phone down. You sleep."
"Hmm."
"Good night."
"Good night. I love you."
"Me too."
"No. Say 'I love you'."
"I love you too."
"No. A proper one."
"I loooveee you!"
I smile. I feel good. I go to sleep with someone telling me how unconditionally he loves me and will continue to do so for life. Woke up with the same feeling. G is a blessing. What I did for him was a risk. A fucking big risk. But it all went off smoothly. Thank God. All worth it and more. I love you, G!

So true, "If it is not madness, it is not love."

I AM IN LOVE

Now, I can not stop smiling. I feel normal. I feel happy. Thank you G for bearing with me and pulling me out of it every time with patience.

Love 'n' Peace.

A very big hug.
Kisses.

Sexy Saturday

After creating the blog, I slept at 5 in the morning. I think of trying but I just know I can not go to my gym in the morning, instead am woken up by a call at 9:30 am,
"I want to fuck you."
"What??G!!"
"Are you alone?"
"Can I please call you back in 5-10mins.?"
"I am exploding!"
"O.K. 5!!"
"Quick!"

Hang up, wide awake.... no one in the room. Check the bathroom. Open the room door.... Mom is in the kitchen, downstairs. Seven mins later I call. G sounded like he'd shook in the mean time, but was still keen, probably because he thought I was keen. Well... I actually was not... I was in deep sleep instead. I was horny last night and I planned to surprise him, instead he called and said, "I called to say good night... I am really tired." It is a fucking Friday night and my guy wants to sleep instead of talking dirty to his girl...Sigh! Anyway, we had some okay-ish phone sex... Don't think I came, he did...(again...was it? did not bother to ask) The room door began to knock immediately...Perfect timing...we were done by then...pretended to be sleeping to my maid and called G back. This time HE was asleep..."Sorry babe... I am getting great sleep after this... I don't get to sleep for so long throughout the week." Ofcourse, the angel that I am, I let him enjoy his Saturday with sex and sleep.

Phone rings

"R! What do you think I should do? L and I had a major fight. He does not even want to see my face."
"What happened?" Concerned... Did they fight over L's penis size? S says it is as small as her ring finger... She did not have sex with him again after the first time. Now, she thinks they need to give it time before regular sex begins. (It is just she finds it too small, specially compared to her ex.)
"Ah! Nothing... It was something extremely trivial... He has not started going to his gym. He paid for it two weeks back."
>>yaawwnn<<
Continuing..."Should I get him flowers?"
"Hand picked."
"But I am in the middle of a deserted road..."
"Stick a note on his bike with a sweet mess on it..."
"YES!! I love you... Buh Bye!", with an audible smile.
What are friends for

After an hour, they still had not patched up. As the wizard of the group, asked hr to let the situation be for a while. Then I called L, spoke with him...cheered him up...he complained...I took his side (it really works!)...we happily hung up.

Called him again after 30 mins. "See me at CCD in 10 mins."
"I'll see..."
"No! I never ask you to come anywhere like this... You will say no to me now!?"
"What are we meeting for?"
"Because....I want to meet you... simple."
"15 mins.?"
"Cool!"

P and S have been waiting for me at CCD for the past 15-20 mins already. After having called L, I go for my shower with a smile. I feel like a true angel after having set up a surprise for S. Leave home with a warning from mom to be back at 3 because she has to go somewhere.

Reach CCD, happy to see them cuddling. P, as usual is messaging and calling her fuck-all guy. None of us like B, P's guy. He treats her sadly, never has time for her, breaks all the promises, never makes her feel special, is unromantic but has a libido lasting for weeks (horny dog! huh...), misleads P, makes her feel terrible, makes her cry, makes her sad, blames her for everything easily because he is a pro at that and P actually gets convinced. What a miss-goody-to-shoes bitch! She gives in too much in the relationship, including self respect. That's the last thing a woman should EVER do! Let the man be what he is called, A DOG! (BTW, women LOVE dogs... ;) )

So, all is cool between S and L, now. I am not being credited for it because P claims they patched up before L arrived. Huh... wtf... fine... they must have! But atleast... acknowledge! I 'tried' doing something nice for friends...huh... Maybe P is jealous... she is always the miss-goody-to-shoes doing all the good and angelic deeds like patching up and this time it wasn't her...aargghh... its just... come on ...acknowledge my efforts guys!! :x

S and L leave to meet some friends and P and I get down to doing what we love. Discuss G,B and sex over chicken sandwich. S joins us after a while. We talk...we laugh...we bond...we discuss(very important)...and we leave to SHOP!!

S wanted to buy a sexy nightdress. (I guess her 'lets give it time before regular sex' is over. See this is what big fights do... make a relationship stronger...She has fallen in love with him again, this time more deeply and is ready to compromise on the size. Actually, she was also being hopeful after L came twice while they were just making out and having oral sex.
I am sure, S is among the 2% who are always turned on. "I see myself in Samantha", came from the horses'(mare's, to be gender accurate) mouth.) And I wanted to buy a sexy lacy bra for my best friend K. I bought myself two, two weeks back because I am going to see my boyfriend next weekend. It is a long distance relationship, and I love it this way. Infact, K and I are going together, her boyfriend is in the same city. We are going crazy with excitement! We will be travelling together for the first time! Wuhoo!! She also thinks, I have finally grown up, because G is my first 'proper proper' boyfriend and I was considered among the 2% who are asexual. Thank God G happened! Sigh!

Anyway, and so... S found a sexy lace pink short nightdress which also had the matching string tying pantie. Damn! I've always wanted those panties... Yes! Even when I was asexual. Expensive, low on cash, borrow from friends! We now move to the other shop from where I have to get K's bra. I told her that will be her B'day gift, it is in some days. She said she wanted something in bright pink, got her something absolutely different. I love that color and I know it will look hot on K. (Remember we are best friends, not lesbians!) That is how well we know each other. She is my soul! God! I love her!! Kisses!

While checking out other stuff, they HAVE those string tied panties...Yeaaa!! They 'also' have the black lace pantie. In a fix! Shit! "Which one girls?" P came to my rescue...my love...angel...(she really is an angel :) ) "Black! This will look better on our sizes" Ouch! I hate this size business! But with an obese body, you have limited choices! Gggrrr.... The world is getting heavier by the day, yet limited stuff for the larger population of the world...the obese community :(

P on the phone again... Sometimes I feel I spend much better time G by being miles away than P spends with B in spite of being in the same city. They fight! (hahaha... I love it! The invisible horns come out!) B is not meeting P, tomorrow, AGAIN! (Because he is a B=Bastard!) Because he has work! Self claimed Work-a-holic, L is his friend and tells us 'he does nothing!' I knew it! >>punch the palm<<

So, P is fighting and S n I hear her say "Now B, that is an insult!" Phew! Thank God she found something offensive! S and I looked at each other, smiled. I pass th bottl of 7-up we are sharing to P and say, "Last sip for a handsome husband." (B has a reciding hairline!) She repeats that to B. He gets pissed. They hang up. P upset. We smiling! (Bitches...yes we know! the horns grow in size ;) )

"P!", screaming for her to come back. She is literally storming away.
"No! Let me go home... You guys carry on."
"Alright we will. But what happened?"
"He nevr has time to meet me.... blah blah blah bla bah ba b.....">>eeyyaawwnn<<
"P! Do you mind acting pricey?"
"No ya! I can't"
"Hang up on him!"
"No! He does not like it!"
"Like, you like the way he talks to you.... (That asshole was free today, doing nothing, and when P asked him to meet her, he said 'Now I am not that free' WTF! Bastard, isn't it?) Give it to him when he deserves it..."
S with her helmet on all ready to drive off her bike, "Look at us... Act pricey! ;) "
Now! was really the time. It was just perfect!
"P.... I'll be blunt honest... on your face I am telling you... the day is not far when you will lose your self respect completely (Though I already think, she has.)"
In confused disbelief, as if her sub conscious was agreeing, "You really think so?"
S n I, simultaneously, "YES!"
Shit! Yes Yes Yes! This is working! She looks convinced now! Big grins!
Adding drama, "You will lose respect among friends too."
She ofcourse has a hint that we are not too fond of her undeserving love interest.
And P leaves with agitation, "I will abuse him all my way back."
Way to go, girl!
Hugs!
We are oh-so-happy! Dying to call N and U and inform them immediately. S n I left to meet L, again. After gossiping and eating alot at his bakery, I realise it is past 4. Missed call from mom. I have crossed my deadline. I call and the tone says 'I am screwed', content says 'You are done'. She had left home, locked. Fuck! I ran... I was approx 50 mins. away from home. Ran, literally. Thankfully I knew where she was going, called so that I could pick the keys. She was mad... I'd like to believe angry because she was not answering my calls. Frantically called my aunt, who was with her. Passed on the mess, got the keys, finished the work she has asked me to do and got home. Sigh!

Home Alone! Trying my new sexy night dress with the new lingerie. The thought of what would follow when I wear this for G next week, gets me excited. I call. Role Reversal. "G! I want you to fuck me!"
"What are you wearing?" (His fav. question and for the first time I was dying to answer it)
"I can not keep secrets from you. I bought a purple satin night dress and a lace bra with a black lace pantie."
"Fuck! I knew you had bought new lingerie, the way you were talking in the past days."
We have great phone sex. We talk, finally! I crib about how I wanted to surprise him but ruined it. He is super cute, says he will still be surprised. :) I love him, completely!

I get online. Mom is back. SHE IS REALLY ANGRY! She thinks I am misusing my freedom... Alright... considering I am going away to see my boyfriend with out telling her...YES I AM! But otherwise... alright okay... She really does not ask me to do much for her and today if she asked me to come back on time... I should have... but I honestly did not realise the time until she called... :( I am feeling bad and I am also scared... I have to leave next week... I do not want to upset her :(

I love her alot! She is God to me! Kisses Momma!

Kisses to you too from Luscious Sealed Lips! <>

Love 'n' Peace!