Saturday, July 3, 2010

Yes, I believe in Magic!

Amidst a storm of bad days, relationships, each one of them, not even one spared from the curse, today I was left feeling different. My silences grew. Faking a bad mood has gradually become difficult, equally has the need for expressing it. I wrote posts over the past 45 days, not once but many times. Some complete and some not, but they never made me take my mouse click to 'Publish Post'. They had so much, all about the moods, the conversations, the events, some funny and some tragic, but they lacked the feeling I have after I write a post. I have never written for the heck of it. Hence, I would never post for the heck of it either. Be it my first time experience of a bikini wax or drunk making out with my best friend's boyfriend's best friend (yeah... long connection there). My honest confession to G about it and what came after that or terrible fuck ups with family, flat mates and friends. There was nothing bad in terms of relationships that has not happened all together in just a span of these 45 days. I am not over it. I am somehow, now accepting it in different ways. A little compromise. A little ignorance.

All of this and then he called. He called and narrated an entire two day weekend plan. My first reaction was "Are you fucking mad? You think I am going to spend my entire weekend with YOU?" I did not mean to sound that way but I did not want to go ahead with this long plan either. But I don't know. I did. We caught up for the match, drinks, dinner, another match, drinks, all with his friends and mine, making it a huge group of over 10 people. It was fun. Slowly, I started liking my decision. We spent more time over the weekend. Talked. Remained silent. Had tea in silence over looking the sky. He remarked in the car as we were moving with his two friends for brunch, as planned, "I am assuming there will be a very intense post coming from you today." I made me usual 'What?' face. "You have been thinking too much today. You have been very silent." I had. I had allot on mind. About life, about a bitter conversation with mom and sister just a moment back, about my career, about relationships, about their meaning in my life, about the 'doormat syndrome' he talks about, about the inner peace that was calming all the puzzled thoughts dancing in my head, thanks to the view from his friend's pent house balcony.

Throughout the weekend, the only two times I remember us 'talking', was him stopping me from smoking every time I would get up to go out for a smoke and a lame drunken sleepy weird conversation, after we had hit the bed, which I don't even remember. It doesn't matter because we can talk and be silent at the same time. Comfortable with everything. When we talk, our conversations begin from somewhere and end somewhere. They are very random and sensible, both at the same time. Its funny. We open up to each other like strangers do. It was pretty evident when I spent some three to four days, straight being online waiting for him because I wanted to talk about G and I knew, despite G being there, despite great friends, it was only he I wanted to speak to. It is something I never understood, and before I left for a one week break and my last night chance of catching him online, he finally did come and we spoke all night, about each other, about G, about me, about G and me. He gave me his number. I told him where I was. The disclosure came with forced hesitance but naturally it was all flowing. My anonymous Blogger ethics were stopping me but the real me was not.

And that was just the beginning. Six months down the line, we have seen several movies together, hung out with each other's friends, had night stays and fights too. Today as he drove me back home, we admired the sky and sat silent. The weekend plan of watching Argentina v/s Germany had changed because he had to get home. I left too. I knew there was something. The silence was comfortable. His stupidity and drunken funny dance moves did not make the sophisticated me raise an eyebrow. His kinky jokes and random messages were not judged. There was a connection. There was what the movie we just came out of said "Magic". Yes, I like to pretend that I do not believe in it but secretly, I do. We know it for a fact that we share a connection. Something, that is not found in all relationships, mostly craved for and not found in the romantic ones. This is not a romantic relationship. This is just a relationship which would remain in my memory forever whether we remain in touch for that long or not.

It is the connect you form with a person immediately and you know it will stay. Because, its a relationship built solely on that and has nothing else to offer or take. It is not what most call a step to fall in love. It is just plain connect. Some heroes find it in their bartenders and some heroines in that stranger old man sitting by the riverside. I just found it in a Blogger friend.

Its comfortable. Its crazy. And its nothing romantic. Its not something all understand. Its what I call the 'MAGICAL CONNECTION'.

Love 'n' Peace.

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Luscious Sealed Lips and The Sassy Spinster had announced a Singles Awarness Blogathon Week, from February 9th'09 to February 13th '09 to mark the celebration of the Singles Awareness Day on February 14th'09.

The Final participants of the S.A.D. Blogathon are Saroj, Single Hilarity, d Rat and Piyush Tainguriya, along with my co partner, Chrys, who updated her blog everyday through out the week.

Please do visit their blogs and read their special and interesting S.A.D. posts on Singleton.

Thank you!