Most of my female readers have grown up on Cinderellas, Beauty and the Beast, Rapunzel, The Little Mermaid (This one was my favorite) and many other 'And they lived happily ever after...' Fairy tales. I blame these Fairy Tales to be the BIGGEST culprits for ruining romance. They make each woman believe that there is a Prince Charming, A Knight in the Shining Armour, Someone who would come riding on a horse and sweep the world beneath their feet, Sing songs in praise of their beauty and then they both would kiss and live a happily ever after life. Huh. Ofcourse.
And then came the Mills and Boons, The Love Story, The Pride and the Prejudice, The Jane Austen's, Casablanca, Notting Hill, Moulin Rouge, Gone With the Wind, etcetra, etcetra. The list is endless. They have further cashed on the emotion called 'love' and made it worst for us love fools. We live breathe eat sleep die love. And then came the Self Help books. They claim to help you find the 'PERFECT MAN' for you. They will tell you what is a man like if he opens the door for you from his right hand. They will tell you what is wrong with the man you are currently dating. They will tell you how you are ruining your life and and losing yourself by living with a man who blows his nose a little too loudly. (Yeah! Probably blowing his nose loudly is a LOUD sign that he is careless and irresponsible.) This way or that - YOU ARE RUINED IF YOU ARE READING!
I have definitely grown up on the best of Fairy Tales, but THANK GOD, I grew up AFTER that and never read any of those soft bound Love tales which present some horrible writing styles. The only Self Help Book that I have read, or rather was forced to read was "You Can Win". God! My school and Mom, both loved it and they read it to us if we did not read it ourselves. But then that is the point! That is what books do. They try to take over our lives. We read with an open mind and would want to imbibe, believe and live by the same words. Where does that leave YOU? It simply leaves you as a mere SUBJECT of their stupidity. You lose YOURSELF!
The whole point being, since we have GROWN UP on such Love Stories, we start believing in them. We believe everything is perfect. We try so hard to make everything perfect. Whether it is kissing on a yatch or being always pretty for your guy. We do things which are unnecessary, unwanted and not even desired for. Maybe not even ourselves! Ask yourself deeply, do you really want to do this? Doing something just because it seems romantic, is not real love. How many times, do we do unnecessary, unwanted things for 'others' whom we love? Parents, Friends, Siblings, Pets....? We do not! Because it would not be 'Romantic'.
And when we try so hard, yet things do not fall the way we see them, we feel disappointed, cheated, disheartened. Why? Only because we had a different picture all through our life in our minds and we see something else. So, the ones who realized this took this upon themselves as a moral responsibility to save every woman from being trapped into the Fairy Land and believing in having a Prince Charming. So, what these women did, they started writing about how EVERYTHING is wrong in your relationship, your man. Obviously, women believed that too and 'helped themselves'. WOW! We hope, we dream, we love, we lose, we fight back and how? By killing our own selves. How ruthlessly romantic is that?
It is sad when we start expecting too much from our relationships. It is a sin to classify certain expressions under 'for men' and 'for women'. Why can not a man be shy? Why can not a woman first say she loves a man? Why can not a woman go and ask a man to marry her or ask him for sex? Why can not a man say 'no' to sex? Why? Ofcourse you can. You can say, do, date, love whoever whenever wherever you want. We do not need to expect our men to get us flowers all the time and say the right things to pamper us, always. Do they not deserve to be pampered, to be left alone when wanted?
All we need to understand is that we are individuals. It is important to stay connected with ourselves, it is only then can we love and love happily. No boundations. No expectations. No rules. No nothing. Accept how things are and more importantly, accept how you are. You find it difficult to express, no pressures, my love. You do not want to talk on the phone or you'd rather play FIFA than 'talk' , it really is NO CRIME. It is your life. You would probably do the same with your Mom. Ask her to go away when you want to play FIFA. We girls need to learn a bit, practise a little and bring a big change. And guys, you all really do not HAVE to get 'emotionally blackmailed' always. Sometimes, please do. (Puppy face.)
Yes yes yes. Realization dawns upon me too. I NEVER had imagined I could be a pain in the ass. But, to my biggest surprise. I managed to 'be a girl' allot of times. For no rhyme or reason I'd start a 'You don't talk to me...' fight. Gawd! If I was in G's place na, I would have gotten into the phone and given one tight slap. Gosh! I find myself really irritating sometimes. In G's words 'Stop being a girl ya...'
Love 'n' Peace.
Hugs.
Kisses.
P.S. - Luscious is going away for a long time. A sort of vacation with family. Will also meet G for a day. We are planning to go for our first Movie Date, together. (See, again... 'FIRST MOVIE DATE'... Romantic no? Huh. We women, can we help this about ourselves? Ssshhh... I like being this way sometimes. ;) )
Posts
Working on Something New
5 months ago
