Saturday, June 6, 2009

Petty Privacy!

Chatter: Yeah. Anyway R, I was saying...You and I will have to also part ways
me: Why?
And firstly, Why have you been referring to me as R since yesterday?
Chatter: Because when I am talking to you I feel that i am talking to her behind a different veil. You maybe a third person completely...but every time I talk to you, I feel as if she is nearby.
Forgetting someone you like, is not easy, and having you close won't help.
me: Alright.
Chatter: Thanks
me: Are you sure?
Chatter: Yes
me: Anything that makes you comfortable. :)
I am there whenever you want to talk.
I am always there as a friend, whenever you need. :)
Chatter: Thanks...take care
me: You too.
I will miss you.
Chatter: Now don't make me cry...go
me: LOL.
I really liked talking to you.
Chatter: So did I
me: You were a good friend.
Anyway, things always do not go as we plan.
Whether it is your plan of spending an entire life with R.
Or me making great friends with you.
Take Care.
Resource Humans well. ;)
All the Best.
Chatter: ha ha..sure :P
me: Bye.
Chatter: Bye.

For the next ten days I resist not pinging my favorite Blogger Online Friend. The only one whom I hit it off immediately in the first few conversations. Conversations so free flowing, comfortable and random that the last time I felt this way chatting with somebody was when G and I had hit it off. But much to my delight, Chatter pinged me and the old days seemed to come back. We chatted the way we did. We never discussed his past love, R, for another one month.

Chatter: So I guess its goodbye then
me: I really do not know what to say.
Chatter: You don't have to...the choices we make...our actions speak a lot in themselves
Its ok
me: I guess you should know how weird it is to receive mails like the one you sent.
And to be brutally honest with you, This is not a fair way to treat me.
Anyway, to each to his own.
Chatter: mails?
me: I do not think I want to say much.
The one you sent a few days back.
("This is the deal, I feel u r my 'R' parading around with a diff name...but I could be wrong also. If u r not the same person, and you really want me to be around, then please do reveal your real identity...

if you can't and i can appreciate your reasons please do remember me in good light

god bless")

Chatter: Have you imagined what it is like to have loved and lost
to have imagined ones life with someone
to have seen the possibility
and then seen the light go out
just because I am smiling does not mean I am okay.
I am just trying to preserve my sanity now.
me: I understand.
But does that give you the right to hurt people?
Chatter: But how did I hurt you?
I asked you if you felt I was friend enough to know your real identity
and you chose not to tell me about it.
me: This is not the first time you have said you do not want to talk because you think I maybe R.
It is irritating.
And hurtful to see people coming and talking to you whenever they want to and then face their mood swings.
Chatter: That i agree is my fault....for therein lies an assumption i made...that you were her and there was stuff you'd rather say to me as sealed lip than her
so for me it was talking to the same person
not different people
me: Whatever.
I know what you are talking.
But ... forget it.
I do not think I see any point in saying anything further.
Chatter: I agree the point was actually quite I a friend enough for you to tell your real identity...
and your answer
is no
has been no
and that is that
whatever points you raised are fair...but are not the real point
That one thing would have solved a whole lot more
No secrecy
No assumptions
me: The point is a friend is expected to respect your privacy, whatever level you want to hold.
In case it is difficult for you to respect who I am, I do not think there lies a point at all.
Chatter: I do...and till I didn't have a need of knowing that the two people were same or different
I didn't push that point
But now I need to
me: You can not force me to tell or do something. Can you?
And if you intend dong that, please answer, is that respectful?
Chatter: No but I can request and depending on what you choose to do, I have to make tough choices, you think i like losing friends? you are somebody i can talk to and connect to...I must be really pushed to my limits to have to do something like this...wouldn't I?
Now u tell me
What should I do?
Being a friend is also about taking responsibility for your friend's smile...
Is your privacy so earth shatteringly more important than my smile?
Hey gtg
Please think about what I said
I beg of u
I don't want to loose you
I've lost enough already.

It is not for the first time someone on my Sealed Lip I.D. has forced me to reveal my identity. It is not for the first time I have had 'friends' saying Bye because I am not 'real' enough.

Here, is a different world, probably living a different life too. A different set of 'real' friends. A completely different set of emotions. A completely different profile. Just because it is all so different from my physical reality, it does not become unreal. Why is it always so hard for people to accept people as they are? How do we manage to find some 'worthy secret' or curiosity to ruin relationships? What is the level of privacy that all relationships should have, after all? Is the strength of a relationship directly proportionate to the amount of 'secrecy' unlocked?

Love 'n' Peace.


P.S. - To all my dear Bloggers, I have not been regular because of Mood Swings and Business. Will be visiting your Blogs soon. Often I visit your Blogs, read but do not find the time to comment properly. Please bare with me. :) Thank you all. Kisses.

I got another Award. Thank you Ki! :)

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Luscious Sealed Lips and The Sassy Spinster had announced a Singles Awarness Blogathon Week, from February 9th'09 to February 13th '09 to mark the celebration of the Singles Awareness Day on February 14th'09.

The Final participants of the S.A.D. Blogathon are Saroj, Single Hilarity, d Rat and Piyush Tainguriya, along with my co partner, Chrys, who updated her blog everyday through out the week.

Please do visit their blogs and read their special and interesting S.A.D. posts on Singleton.

Thank you!