Wednesday, October 29, 2008

ZZzzzzz....??

For my extremely few and beautiful regular readers, "If you thought I was dead or was busy shopping for Diwali, you are fairly right. I am broke to the extent I still have not paid my friend Rs. 300/- that I had to for a top up, but I am so bored that I could be dead."

G and I have had phone sex exactly four times in a month since I have come back. He says, "We have grown up." Are we heading for a break up, here?"

I finally saw a porn clip yesterday. It was my second. Saw the first with G. Once, P and I had decided we will watch porn. It has confused us our entire life, why are men so hooked to porn and women hate it. P had seen porn before and had read a lot of soft porn stories. We tried. Googled "Porn". Clicked on the first link. Alot of thumbnail pictures came on the screen. They WERE disgusting. Pictures of clitorises. Funny how most women are grossed out by pictures of female porn stars (do not know about the male ones ;) ) and men on the other hand find it equally or more sexually stimulating. P and I closed the page without even letting the entire page open up. I felt like an arsehole for some days, "WTF! I became an adult long back and I have still not watched porn." That, was the only reason why I wanted to watch porn. Have seen two video in the past one year, since I had tried for the first time. I seem to have no opinions about them anymore. Makes me feel like a 20 year old man, 'normal'.

I just opened my Facebook account. Saw G's ex's picture. She is on my list. She is a fucking attractive woman. G loved her to no extent. They broke up because of her parents. She and G got in touch recently. She was the only friend of G, whom I met on my trip. She seemed extremely sweet too. We got along well. She is on my 'friends list'. But it pricked when G went over to her place for an evening with friends. I tried not to let him know that. But I finally did, after a week. He going to her plac, hanging out with her, staying with her till 3 a.m., going for a long walk at 2 may not have hit me the way her constantly telling him how happy she is to have him back in his life, did. After knowing, where she comes from, it is understandable. She is new in the city and unhappy. Finding an old close friend makes you feel good. I understand. I am okay with it. I have no 'ex' issues. But, it made me uncomfortable somewhere. This was the first issue between G and I, where I let out my thoughts to a friend before telling him. The friend thought I was being insecure. She is gorgeous - I am fat. H probably loved her more. She knows him better than I do. They are in the same city. I am not. Yet, there were no insecurities. I would like to believe I am way above all of this. G agrees, "We are way above all of this... The fact that the two of us can discuss something as sensitive as this so casually proves that." A strange assurance was felt. Not like I needed it, or so I assumed. G - "Are we good?" ME - "We are brilliant." And shall remain despite him getting a hard on 5-6 times a day.

"I am very sweet."
"No. You are fat."
We argue over that for over 10 minutes.
"You will never reach 55."
"Good. Atleast that would lead to a break up. Let us divorce now, only."
"No. You become 55 and then I will divorce you."
We argue for another 10 minutes.
"You are forgetting. The contract says, 'we have to have break up sex'."
"No. Because that break up would lead to make up sex then break up then make up. It will become a cycle and we would turn into the typical couples, then."
"What color panties are you wearing?"
"Pink."
"I got a hard on. (laughs) From where, I don't know."
"What is wrong with you? How the hell do you manage that?"
"I get a hard on 5-6 times a day."
Jaws dropped. Silence.
"What?? Don't be scared. I do not help myself every time. If I did, I'd be dead."
"What are you talking, G? 5-6 times!?" The mouth is still open wide in shock.
"All guys get it around 2-3 times everyday. I am among the more sexually active brigade. We are called sex addicts. But I do not think I am an addict."
"Do we have loyalty issues here?"
"No. If I was an addict I would have had a girl for sex here, not a long distance relationship with you. Sex addicts are averse to relationships."
"Okay..."
"Look. You do not have to be so shocked. If a man is free, on a holiday or has nothing on his mind, he gets a hard on."
"WTF!"
We ROFL.
"I am brilliant. What a pervert thought 'When a man has nothing to do, he gets a hard on.'"
We can not stop laughing now.
"Don't worry, I will not act up on you every time I get a hard on."
"Then who?"
"No one."
"Good. Good."
"But I will try, if there is no reciprocation, then I can not force you."
"Yes. Because if you do, you will be slapped and jailed."
"Fine. I will not let you touch me, only."
"OH MY GOD! Look at what this guy is saying..."
"Yeah right. Men are born to take 'I will not let you touch me' from women but men can not give that to women."
Laughs.
Come to think of it. Isn't it so true? LOL! Poor male species.
"Want to have sex, without cuddling?"
"It is such a give and take for you men, isn't it? You get sex so you give cuddling."
"Obviously."
"Swine."
"Coming?"
"There is no reciprocation."
"Okay then, Bye."
"Okay. Bye."
"What ya...? Why are you getting angry now?"
"Like I have nothing better to do in life, than to be angry with you."
"You are eating up all my Prison Break time. You are eating up my work time. Bloody Bitch!"
"You only gave me that 'chick' type Bye earlier which re started the whole conversation."
"Once a Bitch, always a Bitch!"
"Yes and G is a living example."
"What are you going to do, now?"
"I am answering that for the fourth time, now. Nothing!"
"Do something no. Why do you not want to do anything?"
"Alright G, Bye!"
"What ya?"
"Good Lord! You are boring me to no extent now. Bye ya!"
"Okay. Bye bye!"

We hang up. G has fulfilled his duty of making me laugh everyday, for today.

Love 'n' Peace.

Kisses.

20 comments:

phatcougar said...

I forgot all the alphabets between G H A B F U. Damn. You made even sex sound boring.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear phatcougar,

It is a matter of perspective.

Kisses.

phatcougar said...

Sleaze sells we all know! u can be the next meenakshi reddy madhavan.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear phatcougar,

When a man talks of sex, it is 'cheap' according to women. When a woman talks of sex, it is 'sleazy' for men.

I am not here to be another eM.

Kisses.

Kenneth said...

I can only imagine how many times G got a hard on, during the Diwali week

Dark_Gal said...

Another one of your oh-so-'hard' ones!!!

I think I'd agree with Phatcougar, seems like another Meenaxi in the making, though you don't wanna be one!!!


Ha! Keep posting!

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Kenneth,

This conversation was around that time.

Kisses.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear dark_gal,

I am beginning to wonder, is the Meenakshi thing, good or bad?

Kisses.

Sathish said...

Excellent thinking. Nice post. Keep blogging...

diamante pazzesco said...

I have never seen porn with my guy *yet* but i'm sure it will be fun.

somehow reading erotica is better than watching the thing. because when you read, you imagine you and your man. but if you start making out after watching the porn clip, the images of the firangi guy with some firangi woman flash and it's such a turn off lol.

long long back i drew some "naughty" things and it turned me on so much!!! my secret profession - porn-cartoonist . don't tell anyone!

anyway

hey, you have your guy's ex on your friend list!! i would have major problems with the ex in his friend list also..

insecurity is very human in your case.. since you are in a long distance... and on top of that she is in his city. but G knows you guys are way above all this and it assured you, so its all good :)

all the best and i hope you guys get together very soon

Over the top said...

Either G keeps getting hard or your too damn good !!!! Either way G and R are damn lucky huh ? And people, namely phatcougar ..... want better sex ? Read Lady Chatterley's lover by L . Hardy !!!!!!

phatcougar said...

Dark-Gal spot on!!!

jaggu said...

hey ..good reading ..anyways

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Sathish,

Thank you.

Kisses.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear D,

This time it is a really long screen name.

LOL. I guess I will read erotica now.

That is a very sexy professional idea. Do mail me your art pieces some day.

Funnily, they are not on each others lists because of the same reason which broke them up - DEADLY DAD!

Thank you.

Hugs 'n' Kisses.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Over the top,

That is a question for G.

Yes. Happy and Lucky.

LOL. ;)

Kisses.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear phatcougar,

:|

Kisses. (anyway)

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Jaggu,

Thanks.

Kisses.

Arjun said...

Kool conversations there.. ;)

Poor G .... Typical guy....

Cheers..!!
Arjun

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Arjun.

LOL. Really?

Kisses.

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S.A.D. BLOGATHON ANNOUNCEMENT

Luscious Sealed Lips and The Sassy Spinster had announced a Singles Awarness Blogathon Week, from February 9th'09 to February 13th '09 to mark the celebration of the Singles Awareness Day on February 14th'09.

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Please do visit their blogs and read their special and interesting S.A.D. posts on Singleton.

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