And so....

"L, Are you okay?"
"Of course I am. Will you guys stop making a big deal out of it?"
"Look, if you want any kind of sympathy or support, we are there....", they could not say that properly and burst into laughter.

Thank you all for your comments on the previous post. It was quite a mental turmoil but I have figured out what is it that I need and would be right for me at this point of time, which meant a Break up. Yes, this Blog which began more than a year back talking about anything and everything concerning G, including details of our Sex Life, has now come to a sweet end for now.

We talk. We are still friends. There maybe some who may not believe in friendships beyond a break up, but we do. We still love each other and still talk the way we always do. We are still there for each other in the way we always have. We have not lost each other. We are still precious for each other. You can not let go off of such a strong bond in a jiffy. And I do not want to either. We are great together and shall remain great.

For those who maybe confused as to why then did I break up if everything has to remain the same, including the love for each other. As a friend said "you could not take the pressure of a 'label' of being in a relationship", is untrue as many of you may assume. The relationship was anything but a pressure on me. I do know that this big decision has been a selfish one but being in the relationship disheartedly for his sake would be unfair to him too. And by God's grace we share a relationship that is so free that I could afford to talk to him about this and take this decision, and the love so strong that he understood or maybe just pretended to for my sake.

All I know is that this is something I wanted for my personal self. There was something eating me up inside. There was something I can not explain but only understand. There was something telling me this would make a difference to the way I am feeling, and it has. I for some reason am feeling freer, feeling good about myself. I am able to see hope in my future once again. Dream again for self. Love myself more again. Not like all of this would not have been possible with him around but it just was not happening despite trying. But now, it is and I feel greater than before. Feeling this good would not have been possible if G would not have understood my situation. I honestly could not find a better guy. He is.... Chuck it. I do not want to put him in words and trivilise it. He is THAT good. He is my biggest support and will always remain that. If he did not stand by this decision of mine, I would be trapped in my own viscious web.

Thank you for being who you are. For being who you are to me. I may not want to face it on a daily basis but I Love you loads and feel a loss, but I am sorry. I surrendered in front of myself. I really was not able to cope with my own self. I am sorry. Please forgive me. I did not mean being one of your exes. I just ......

I Love you.

Love 'n' Peace.

Hugs.
Kisses