Tuesday, February 2, 2010

And so....

"L, Are you okay?"
"Of course I am. Will you guys stop making a big deal out of it?"
"Look, if you want any kind of sympathy or support, we are there....", they could not say that properly and burst into laughter.

Thank you all for your comments on the previous post. It was quite a mental turmoil but I have figured out what is it that I need and would be right for me at this point of time, which meant a Break up. Yes, this Blog which began more than a year back talking about anything and everything concerning G, including details of our Sex Life, has now come to a sweet end for now.

We talk. We are still friends. There maybe some who may not believe in friendships beyond a break up, but we do. We still love each other and still talk the way we always do. We are still there for each other in the way we always have. We have not lost each other. We are still precious for each other. You can not let go off of such a strong bond in a jiffy. And I do not want to either. We are great together and shall remain great.

For those who maybe confused as to why then did I break up if everything has to remain the same, including the love for each other. As a friend said "you could not take the pressure of a 'label' of being in a relationship", is untrue as many of you may assume. The relationship was anything but a pressure on me. I do know that this big decision has been a selfish one but being in the relationship disheartedly for his sake would be unfair to him too. And by God's grace we share a relationship that is so free that I could afford to talk to him about this and take this decision, and the love so strong that he understood or maybe just pretended to for my sake.

All I know is that this is something I wanted for my personal self. There was something eating me up inside. There was something I can not explain but only understand. There was something telling me this would make a difference to the way I am feeling, and it has. I for some reason am feeling freer, feeling good about myself. I am able to see hope in my future once again. Dream again for self. Love myself more again. Not like all of this would not have been possible with him around but it just was not happening despite trying. But now, it is and I feel greater than before. Feeling this good would not have been possible if G would not have understood my situation. I honestly could not find a better guy. He is.... Chuck it. I do not want to put him in words and trivilise it. He is THAT good. He is my biggest support and will always remain that. If he did not stand by this decision of mine, I would be trapped in my own viscious web.

Thank you for being who you are. For being who you are to me. I may not want to face it on a daily basis but I Love you loads and feel a loss, but I am sorry. I surrendered in front of myself. I really was not able to cope with my own self. I am sorry. Please forgive me. I did not mean being one of your exes. I just ......

I Love you.

Love 'n' Peace.

Hugs.
Kisses

11 comments:

Jack said...

L SL,

Back after break. Read 3 pending posts. Parents are always and anchor. On other two, please take your own decisions as per your conscience without being influenced by anyone.

Take care

Preeti said...

L ...if I say I understand exactly what are u feeling ..it wont be wrong ....i wish the guy i love could understand that sometimes we need to break away from relationship and that doesnot neccessary mean from the person ... afterall when u feel tensed, are unsure and uneasy ..what the point of dragging a relationship ..,..never loose love cos of a relationship , coz love is for u two and relationship for the world.. i hope u feel better and be happy after this decision ...

hugs
--preeti .

Insomaniac Junkie said...

Sorry if I am being rude.. BUT.. I like it.. !! As in.. going through ur life in form of this blog.. whew..! It ended now.. It was a guilty pleasure too.. for that it did not go on like the ekta kapoor's serial..
it had the twists and turns and u are an extremely well narrator..
take it or not... this world belongs to only them who live the life according to their own rules...

U ROCK!!

P.S.: Do let me know.. if u have( or will have) any other blog or not..!

Smiles
Ankur

Karthik Murali said...

OOpsssssss...... tough difficult move..... to break up.....
but u should really focus on , where do u wanna go after this ?

btw my original offer still holds :)

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Jack,

Thank you. That is what I am trying to do. :)

Kisses.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Preeti,

I pray you get whatever makes you happy. :)

You are very right in saying what all you have. And I hope that my decision does no harm to anybody.

Kisses.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Insomniac Junkie,

I guess you are right about the guilty pleasure bit and I hope you are right again about the 'world being mine' bit too. I severely do.

This is my Blog and I am not abandoning this space of mine. :)

Kisses.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Karthik,

Focus is something I am trying to concentrate on.

No, thank you. :)

Kisses.

Ria said...

Good to know that u finally decidedAnd hope this works out fine for u. :) All the best!!

A dream come true said...

Hey L, u know once Akbar asked Birbal to write something which wud make a person happy when he's sad and make him sad when he's happy.
Birbal wrote "Things will not remain this way forever"...So chillax!!

Pesto Sauce said...

Break-upa can be tough, inexplicable, heart-breaking and complicated. Good that you have taken it well without hard feelings

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