Friday, January 23, 2009

Reading how to Ruin Romance?

Most of my female readers have grown up on Cinderellas, Beauty and the Beast, Rapunzel, The Little Mermaid (This one was my favorite) and many other 'And they lived happily ever after...' Fairy tales. I blame these Fairy Tales to be the BIGGEST culprits for ruining romance. They make each woman believe that there is a Prince Charming, A Knight in the Shining Armour, Someone who would come riding on a horse and sweep the world beneath their feet, Sing songs in praise of their beauty and then they both would kiss and live a happily ever after life. Huh. Ofcourse.

And then came the Mills and Boons, The Love Story, The Pride and the Prejudice, The Jane Austen's, Casablanca, Notting Hill, Moulin Rouge, Gone With the Wind, etcetra, etcetra. The list is endless. They have further cashed on the emotion called 'love' and made it worst for us love fools. We live breathe eat sleep die love. And then came the Self Help books. They claim to help you find the 'PERFECT MAN' for you. They will tell you what is a man like if he opens the door for you from his right hand. They will tell you what is wrong with the man you are currently dating. They will tell you how you are ruining your life and and losing yourself by living with a man who blows his nose a little too loudly. (Yeah! Probably blowing his nose loudly is a LOUD sign that he is careless and irresponsible.) This way or that - YOU ARE RUINED IF YOU ARE READING!

I have definitely grown up on the best of Fairy Tales, but THANK GOD, I grew up AFTER that and never read any of those soft bound Love tales which present some horrible writing styles. The only Self Help Book that I have read, or rather was forced to read was "You Can Win". God! My school and Mom, both loved it and they read it to us if we did not read it ourselves. But then that is the point! That is what books do. They try to take over our lives. We read with an open mind and would want to imbibe, believe and live by the same words. Where does that leave YOU? It simply leaves you as a mere SUBJECT of their stupidity. You lose YOURSELF!

The whole point being, since we have GROWN UP on such Love Stories, we start believing in them. We believe everything is perfect. We try so hard to make everything perfect. Whether it is kissing on a yatch or being always pretty for your guy. We do things which are unnecessary, unwanted and not even desired for. Maybe not even ourselves! Ask yourself deeply, do you really want to do this? Doing something just because it seems romantic, is not real love. How many times, do we do unnecessary, unwanted things for 'others' whom we love? Parents, Friends, Siblings, Pets....? We do not! Because it would not be 'Romantic'.

And when we try so hard, yet things do not fall the way we see them, we feel disappointed, cheated, disheartened. Why? Only because we had a different picture all through our life in our minds and we see something else. So, the ones who realized this took this upon themselves as a moral responsibility to save every woman from being trapped into the Fairy Land and believing in having a Prince Charming. So, what these women did, they started writing about how EVERYTHING is wrong in your relationship, your man. Obviously, women believed that too and 'helped themselves'. WOW! We hope, we dream, we love, we lose, we fight back and how? By killing our own selves. How ruthlessly romantic is that?

It is sad when we start expecting too much from our relationships. It is a sin to classify certain expressions under 'for men' and 'for women'. Why can not a man be shy? Why can not a woman first say she loves a man? Why can not a woman go and ask a man to marry her or ask him for sex? Why can not a man say 'no' to sex? Why? Ofcourse you can. You can say, do, date, love whoever whenever wherever you want. We do not need to expect our men to get us flowers all the time and say the right things to pamper us, always. Do they not deserve to be pampered, to be left alone when wanted?

All we need to understand is that we are individuals. It is important to stay connected with ourselves, it is only then can we love and love happily. No boundations. No expectations. No rules. No nothing. Accept how things are and more importantly, accept how you are. You find it difficult to express, no pressures, my love. You do not want to talk on the phone or you'd rather play FIFA than 'talk' , it really is NO CRIME. It is your life. You would probably do the same with your Mom. Ask her to go away when you want to play FIFA. We girls need to learn a bit, practise a little and bring a big change. And guys, you all really do not HAVE to get 'emotionally blackmailed' always. Sometimes, please do. (Puppy face.)

Yes yes yes. Realization dawns upon me too. I NEVER had imagined I could be a pain in the ass. But, to my biggest surprise. I managed to 'be a girl' allot of times. For no rhyme or reason I'd start a 'You don't talk to me...' fight. Gawd! If I was in G's place na, I would have gotten into the phone and given one tight slap. Gosh! I find myself really irritating sometimes. In G's words 'Stop being a girl ya...'

Love 'n' Peace.


P.S. - Luscious is going away for a long time. A sort of vacation with family. Will also meet G for a day. We are planning to go for our first Movie Date, together. (See, again... 'FIRST MOVIE DATE'... Romantic no? Huh. We women, can we help this about ourselves? Ssshhh... I like being this way sometimes. ;) )


sawan said...

njoi ur vacation and ur first movie date :P

Kenneth said...

Finally a woman who understands "us" and lets us watch/play football and watch The Sopranos and listen to The Kinks and gives a sanction for a lot of other things..

PS - Which movie?, Have fun and/or great sex

Anonymous said...

Your site has won a Blog of the Day Award (BOTDA)

Award Code

Thank you,

Bill Austin

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Sawan,

Thank You.


Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Kenneth,

Yes, finally. Keep praying for the evolution and it will come more drastically. :)

No idea. But I want to watch a movie with him. The sex will happen before or after. ;)


Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Bill,

Thank You so much.

"OH MY GOD! I don't believe this! Ahh... Aaahh... Thank You Thank You! (Blowing kisses in the air)
I'd like to thank my readers for liking me and loving me and the Blog. I'd like to thank Blogspot for giving me this platform. Umm... Umm... Mom, Dad, Sister, uummm... uumm... G!! Oh God! I have to thank G! God! Everyone. The jury! The... oh I really don't believe this. I'm going to cry. :'( Thank You! :D (Blowing more kisses in the air. Do not stop until I get back to my seat.)"

Alright. That is it. Thanks! :)


Dipti said...

i will stand in front of the tv naked if he pays more attention to cricket!

watch any movie who cares! as if you are gonna "watch" it..not the 1st one at least....i love the idea of movie hall hankypanky

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Dipti,

LOL. There are allot of times I feel I'd do the same. ;)

Hhhmmm. But I guess I want to watch. Lets see if I am able to. ;)


Shoe Girl said...

hey! nice post...
what starts as fairy tales end up in our eternal love for chcick lits. I think we women need more than one reasons to be positive and often we find our hope of ' happily ever after' coming true in chickflicks and chick lits..:)

came across your blog a while back... like it quite a lot:)

and i also tried to be ' dont be a gal' and understand men. Thats when i started a fiction blog about ' single guy in the city' ( IN HIS SHOES)...only when i started writing i realised..Damn! its not easy to understand men eiither:)))

have a good vacation

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Shoe Girl,


From animated pictures on glossy pages to glossy lips, high heels and gorgeous men on celluloid.

Thank you for dropping again. Hope to keep seeing you around.

It was never easy understanding men. We just hogged too much of the Spot Light. ;)


Ashish said...

nice header :)
and yes I'm an expert in ruining romance

T-REX said...

Gawd how did you know all this? You must be a your guys's dream girl..for the first time somebody(a girl) has "understood"

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Ashish,

Thank You.

And how are you ruining romance? Books? Movies? or By being the culprit who shows the reality to us poor women? ;)


Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear T-Rex,

LOL. I am glad this is being appreciated by the men-hood. ;)

There will soon be more 'understand-ers' :)


Misty Rhythm said...

ah well...i agree and disagree to so many things!! i love reading romantic novels (except for the mills n boons- i think they're just plain silly)...and yet, i'm probably one of the least romantic girls u'll come across!! i guess one of the main traps that people fall for is dat they confuse romance and love. yes, they do complement one another..but they're still separate entities.
love's accepting...whether ur being 'such a girl' or not. i act like a total dufus sometimes n my guy still finds it sexy! he wont EVER buy me flowers n yet thr r so many countless gestures which probably only i'll consider romantic. for me...romance is just the personal touch/effort each of us put in our relationship. the way i see it is dat the romance dat we read abt in books is also just btwn 2 such (imaginary) lovers.
yes, i totally agree dat men/women shudn't have such defined roles and shud just be able to do wat they want to! hahaa...but i still do enjoy 'being a girl' :)

i love ur blog btw!

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Misty Rhythm,

I completely agree how we mix and/or even mistake romance to be love.

I do not even read Romantic books, except for of course those beautifully illustrated Fairy tales, which I read when I was barely 6, but I have my romantic phases. The idea is that we tend to read so much into romance that allot of us start expecting the same out of our real lives, which ofcourse ends up in disappointments.

I think, romanticism is fun, untill you start taking it way too seriously. I guess we all love 'being a girl'. It is fun!



Tan said...

Hmmmm ... a well expressed different take on what is on my mind!!

Its just a coincidence that I read this today ...

... thanks for opening your lips and telling these ... enjoyed!!

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Tan,


What is your take on this? Would love you opening up as well. :)


Anonymous said...

congrats on that BLOG OF THE DAY award winning :) and happy vacationing and thank you for opening my eyes on a weeked to the real romances.. shux i never read mills and boons but yes i was a big fan of cinderella!
bless those writers who carved the weird picture of romance in the heart of the young and foolish!

until we see u again!!! hugs

Wandering Photographer said...

Interesting blog post. Its something I've been thinking about for a while.

Romantic literature takes the thinking away from a romantic relationship. It provides a set of rules to follow and sets expectations.

As an individual, I don't want someone to "do stuff" for me because that's "what's expected".

I'd rather spend time getting some mutual understanding going on so that I can do things that *really matter* and my equal (haha! not my partner) can do the same.

Love isn't about what you need from someone. Its about you and your equal being being happy together ... and apart.

siddhu said...

So sweet of u!!!!!!! Women who understand men are becomin a=rare!!!

btw...have a nice time...&
my best wishes for a gr8 date!!!


moon's muse said...

One of the best things that I have read till date.It made me pause and think where I was wrong.I unabashedly claim tha I am the uber romantic,dreamy kind of girl and grew up on a liberal dose of fairy tales and Mills and Boons.Yes,I do believe in knight in shining armour,but somewhere I DID confuse love with romance.

THANK YOU for this post.Thank you soooooo much.I needed this.


Yayaver said...

it is good to know that what person of opposite sex thinks about love...quite nice post about romance and discovering yourself...

Femin Susan said...

What a movie.........

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Luscious Sealed Lips and The Sassy Spinster had announced a Singles Awarness Blogathon Week, from February 9th'09 to February 13th '09 to mark the celebration of the Singles Awareness Day on February 14th'09.

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