GOOD Morning!

"Good Morning."
"Good Morning."
"Getting ready for work.."
"Yes. So I will have to call you later."
"Okay."
"I love you. Bye."
"I love you too. Bye."
Big grin, which is still on.

Woke up with this urge to hear 'I'll b there for you', FRIENDS' title song by Rembrandts. Just downloaded and updating the blog which I was dying to do since last night.

Today it feels I will FINALLY be good and normal now! Last night, again I got 'that' way.

"G! My family is leaving for dinner, but I do not feel like going, so I am going to be home alone now."
"I know whats on your mind. But I just shook in the evening."
Wow! Don't you want to kill him right now! YES!
We tried having phone sex twice the day before but we had just started with "What color panties are you wearing?" when my door would get knocked and Haha... "I'll call you back" Arggh!
"Okay. That's alright."
I still want to kill him.
"It had been 3-4 days."
"Yeah. I understand."
Bitch!

We talk, after a long time.
"I just realized we are talking talking after a long time. We did not do that since you left."
"Yes. Happy Realization!"
"What? Why are you being that way?"
"What way?"
He gives up.
"Bloody I have spent days crying on the phone saying the same and now he realizes."
"When did you cry?"
Wow! Anyone reading this, Can you please kill this fella!
Now, I give up.
We talk.

"Fatso!"
"Yeah, so? You will anyway divorce me if I do not reach 57 in the next six months."
"Yes. That I will."
"After that I'll become 57."
Confused.
"Look. You will leave me. I will cry for some days. Go into depression. Eat ALOT during depression. After that I will start losing all my weight."
After some time I hear him singing 'Please forgive me' by Bryan Adams.
G said he will sing this song for me whenever he hurts me. He loves this song and has not only dedicated it to me once. (He has not given himself that chance I guess.)
He is singing. His friends think he sounds like Bryan Adams. I could not notice I was busy crying.
"So, how did you like it?"
"Why did you sing this song for me?" (sniffing)
"Because I thought you would like it."
And I thought he thought he has hurt me with the whole weight talk. Even though he did not, yet.
"Okay."
"Did you like my Bryan Adams voice?"
"Hmm."
"Are you crying?"
"No." (sniffing)
"Was I that bad?"
"No." (smiling)
"Are you tired?"
"No." (frustrated)
"Okay."
I am STILL sniffing! Either he is ignoring or he is really dumb.
We talk.

"You will never leave me no?"
"Never."
"Even if I do not turn 57."
"No..."
"You..."
"But I would like you as 55. I can not help but be honest."
"That is good. I am glad."
We talk.

Perfect timing for his friend to call and ruin the conversation. I am drop dead tired too after my gym so I drop on my bed. Call him. His phone is engaged. WTF! That phone is used only to talk to me. His friend called on the other phone. Why the fuck is this one busy? I call on his other phone.
"What?"
"I am busy on the other phone. Will call you back."
"Okay."
I am lying on my bed, thinking, re thinking about how we hugged at the station when he came to pick me up. About how he was going to drop me at a friend's and as soon as this one guy got off the lift, he turned, I pulled him over and we kissed so passionately, feeling his hard on through his pants between my legs, squeezing my breasts. That was 'the hottest moment' of the trip. And then how we reached this unknown tiny town that can be covered on foot in half an hour. There was no power, there. A beautiful dhaaba with a lantern. Perfect lighting. Perfect drizzle. Sea surrounded. We had reached that town on a ferry. Saw the sun set on that ferry with him. Had tea at that dhaaba. We spoke of our careers. Life. Everything but US. It was the perfect date. Walking in the rain in that town. Turned on. I had my hand in his jeans' back pocket, secretly squeezing his butt in the darkness of the night, stealing kisses, grabbing the breast. Desperate to find a corner to make out, but a small town and too many people to take the risk. After an hour we start walking back towards the ferry. We stop at the bridge. Lean on the railing. (I had always seen this in the movies. It looked exactly the same. Could not let the moment go away. And I had always wanted to do this.) We kissed. We held each other tight. Wet bodies. The breeze was chilling. There was the sea all around. Some ferries parked at the shore. The moon light. G and me. We kissed more passionately, like some two characters kissing in the end of a Mills and Boon story. I could feel him hard. My leg on the railing. Arms around his back. His around my hip. Lips entwined. Just could not stop kissing. Feeling each other. Subtly dry humping in the middle of the lonely bridge.
"Are you wet?"
"No. I am in love."
"Oh!"
ROFL.
This was the highlight of the trip. Funny. Sexy. Beautiful. We laugh like crazy whenever we think of the "Are you wet?" conversation. And then we left on a crowded ferry, doing what I had always dreamed of.

On our way to that small town on the ferry, "You know G. Every girl has a dream place where she wants to kiss her guy."
We look into each others' eyes.
"Mine was a ferry. In the middle of the sea."
"There are too many people right now."
"I know. I understand."

Now, on our way back. It was dark. We kissed and kissed. Held his hard cock, without anyone knowing what was happening in our little corner on that overtly crowded ferry.


G calls back. I am tired. Cranky. We are talking.
"One day I will behave the way you are behaving over the phone."
"Now, what did I do?"
"Look at you. You are not talking only. Silent."
"I am sorry."
"No. Don't be sorry. You are just tired and drained, yet you just want to hold the phone."
"No. It is not that. We will talk later."
"R!"
"What?"
"You have been like this for so long."
"You know, I was crying when you were singing 'Please Forgive me' for me."
"Yes. But why?"
"Because I am falling too much in love with you. I love you more than my life, myself..."
"Ever since you have gone back, you have become so sentimental and emotional. I understand I am your first love and all that."
Alright. Here the guy is wrong. He knew about my ex and I loved him too. I probably may not have loved so much, though.
"I probably love you more that my career."
This was a BIG statement. I did not love my ex more than my career. I don't love or give importance to anyone more than my career.
"No R! I don't want that. I do not want you loving me more than your career. One of the reasons why I got attracted to you because you were not one of those typical girls."
Wow! Now, I know why I love him more than my career. Because he allows me to love my career, the most.
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For being this way."
"Okay. Now go to sleep."
"No. I want to stay on the phone."
"What ya?"
I start crying.
"This reaching the next level in the relationship is not doing me good."
"It is just the hormones."
"Bastard. It does not last that long."
"Okay."
"I have just fallen in love with you too much. Have become emotional about you."
"We will go back to our previous level. Okay?"
"No. You will always be there with me no?"
"Always."
"G! You seem very unreal to me."
"Unreal? I?"
"Yes. Why would you want to be with a woman like me."
"Why do you think of yourself as a 'woman like me'? You should instead think 'woman like me' (with pride)."
"Yeah. I do. But..."
We got emotional talking about how unconditionally we love each other.
"Do you know how amazing that feeling is to know someone loves you unconditionally."
"Now. I do."
"I love you unconditionally, G."
"I love you unconditionally, R. I really want to take you right now. But my mom will be back any moment."
"Me too. But my family is back from the dinner too."

We continue on the phone with silence and I love yous.
"Go to sleep R."
"Okay. But remain on the phone till I go to sleep."
"What ya? What is this?"
"No. Just remain on the phone until I sleep."
"How will I know you have gone off to sleep?"
"Ask me. If there is no reply that means I am asleep."
"Okay."
He kept asking me that after every 40 seconds. How the hell am I suppose to sleep if he keeps disturbing me every 40 seconds.
"Are you holding me?"
"Yes."
....................................
....................................
"R?"
"G! Please ask me after ten minutes."
"Okay. Can I watch the T.V.?"
"Yes. But please keep the volume low. I do not want to be disturbed no."
"Okay. Good night."
"Good Night. I love you."
"Me too."
I can hear the television in the background. Imagination is the best gift God has given us. I could imagine him right there. Watching the television. Me sleeping beside him. Holding his hand. After 10 minutes.
"R?"
Almost asleep.
"R?"
"Hmm"
"Sleeping?"
"Hmm"
"Okay. Now I am keeping the phone down. You sleep."
"Hmm."
"Good night."
"Good night. I love you."
"Me too."
"No. Say 'I love you'."
"I love you too."
"No. A proper one."
"I loooveee you!"
I smile. I feel good. I go to sleep with someone telling me how unconditionally he loves me and will continue to do so for life. Woke up with the same feeling. G is a blessing. What I did for him was a risk. A fucking big risk. But it all went off smoothly. Thank God. All worth it and more. I love you, G!

So true, "If it is not madness, it is not love."

I AM IN LOVE

Now, I can not stop smiling. I feel normal. I feel happy. Thank you G for bearing with me and pulling me out of it every time with patience.

Love 'n' Peace.

A very big hug.
Kisses.