Saturday, July 3, 2010

Yes, I believe in Magic!

Amidst a storm of bad days, relationships, each one of them, not even one spared from the curse, today I was left feeling different. My silences grew. Faking a bad mood has gradually become difficult, equally has the need for expressing it. I wrote posts over the past 45 days, not once but many times. Some complete and some not, but they never made me take my mouse click to 'Publish Post'. They had so much, all about the moods, the conversations, the events, some funny and some tragic, but they lacked the feeling I have after I write a post. I have never written for the heck of it. Hence, I would never post for the heck of it either. Be it my first time experience of a bikini wax or drunk making out with my best friend's boyfriend's best friend (yeah... long connection there). My honest confession to G about it and what came after that or terrible fuck ups with family, flat mates and friends. There was nothing bad in terms of relationships that has not happened all together in just a span of these 45 days. I am not over it. I am somehow, now accepting it in different ways. A little compromise. A little ignorance.

All of this and then he called. He called and narrated an entire two day weekend plan. My first reaction was "Are you fucking mad? You think I am going to spend my entire weekend with YOU?" I did not mean to sound that way but I did not want to go ahead with this long plan either. But I don't know. I did. We caught up for the match, drinks, dinner, another match, drinks, all with his friends and mine, making it a huge group of over 10 people. It was fun. Slowly, I started liking my decision. We spent more time over the weekend. Talked. Remained silent. Had tea in silence over looking the sky. He remarked in the car as we were moving with his two friends for brunch, as planned, "I am assuming there will be a very intense post coming from you today." I made me usual 'What?' face. "You have been thinking too much today. You have been very silent." I had. I had allot on mind. About life, about a bitter conversation with mom and sister just a moment back, about my career, about relationships, about their meaning in my life, about the 'doormat syndrome' he talks about, about the inner peace that was calming all the puzzled thoughts dancing in my head, thanks to the view from his friend's pent house balcony.

Throughout the weekend, the only two times I remember us 'talking', was him stopping me from smoking every time I would get up to go out for a smoke and a lame drunken sleepy weird conversation, after we had hit the bed, which I don't even remember. It doesn't matter because we can talk and be silent at the same time. Comfortable with everything. When we talk, our conversations begin from somewhere and end somewhere. They are very random and sensible, both at the same time. Its funny. We open up to each other like strangers do. It was pretty evident when I spent some three to four days, straight being online waiting for him because I wanted to talk about G and I knew, despite G being there, despite great friends, it was only he I wanted to speak to. It is something I never understood, and before I left for a one week break and my last night chance of catching him online, he finally did come and we spoke all night, about each other, about G, about me, about G and me. He gave me his number. I told him where I was. The disclosure came with forced hesitance but naturally it was all flowing. My anonymous Blogger ethics were stopping me but the real me was not.

And that was just the beginning. Six months down the line, we have seen several movies together, hung out with each other's friends, had night stays and fights too. Today as he drove me back home, we admired the sky and sat silent. The weekend plan of watching Argentina v/s Germany had changed because he had to get home. I left too. I knew there was something. The silence was comfortable. His stupidity and drunken funny dance moves did not make the sophisticated me raise an eyebrow. His kinky jokes and random messages were not judged. There was a connection. There was what the movie we just came out of said "Magic". Yes, I like to pretend that I do not believe in it but secretly, I do. We know it for a fact that we share a connection. Something, that is not found in all relationships, mostly craved for and not found in the romantic ones. This is not a romantic relationship. This is just a relationship which would remain in my memory forever whether we remain in touch for that long or not.

It is the connect you form with a person immediately and you know it will stay. Because, its a relationship built solely on that and has nothing else to offer or take. It is not what most call a step to fall in love. It is just plain connect. Some heroes find it in their bartenders and some heroines in that stranger old man sitting by the riverside. I just found it in a Blogger friend.

Its comfortable. Its crazy. And its nothing romantic. Its not something all understand. Its what I call the 'MAGICAL CONNECTION'.

Love 'n' Peace.

Hugs.
Kisses.

33 comments:

Pavitra .... said...

Although I cannot relate to this, I can understand...
There are relationships which you cannot name or categorize. They are just there.
Hope everything is alright again and that you're happy! Keep writing more!
Take care!

sanely insane said...

Most people confuse 'love' and 'romance'; the movies have repeated the L word so many times that we now can't understand the word without connoting it to romance.

Somehow I guess I've been lucky in a sense that life has literally smashed the romance out of me that I can now think of Love without it getting muddled up as romance.

One's life is enriched by the hearts it touches and the hearts it is touched by.

Very intense post indeed :)

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Pavitra,

When it happens, you know it. :)

Thanks.

Kisses.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Sanely Insane,

Love and Romance are two seperate feelings all together. People need to start identifying that.

That is a good thing that has happened to you, then. :)

True that.

:P

Kisses.

Kenneth said...

Glad that you have someone who is special to you

Scribbling Girl said...

Well I somehow could understand...'That magic' with someone u met and somehow u want it to stay....such relationships get carved out in the hearts.....but its the magic which keeps all things going....even love lacks it sometimes....!
Hope things get fine with u soon and do write it out sometimes...it gives internal peace :)

Take care
Hugs and kisses

♦ Crazy Diamond ♦ said...

i feel very happy when i see an update on Luscious Sealed Lips

♦ Crazy Diamond ♦ said...

as long as you are happy

*hug*

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Kenneth,

I feel blessed and feel like God's favorite child, cause I have more than one. :)

Kisses.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Scribbling Girl,

It is. :)

I will try. But it always takes more than expressing for inner peace.

Kisses.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear CD,

I Love you.

Kisses.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear CD,

Life has been crazy to put an update. But I feel happy too whenever there is one. :)

Kisses.

Americanising Desi said...

i cannot completely relate but in parts that i do - your feelings are very true and so is the brilliant writing :)

some relationships can go on without a tag!

Jack said...

L S L,

It happens at times that what you write does not go well with your thoughts so you just leave it. Nice to read your frank projection of what you feel. One is lucky to find someone who will give support without asking for anything in return. Thank your stars.

Take care

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear AD,

Without a tag is what makes it more special. It can not be defined in the pre existing meanings of relationships. :)

Kisses.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Jack,

I do. I always thank God. :)

Kisses.

Pesto Sauce said...

Aww somethings can be tough to handle moreso fragile relationships. Take care and watch your steps slowly

But please don't stop writing, always keep it pouring out rather than simmering within

Hey making out with friend's friend would have been fun...I envy you

almost loved said...

When my love and I first met, we had what you called the magical connection too. That was how I knew this time it would be different.

akd said...

ur writing is so touchy....

Ria said...

Can totally relate to this post...should i say been there done that! Yes, its gr8 to have someone like that. But then, i dunno what is the life of such a relationship? Do they last??

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Pesto,

Advice accepted. :)

I will try but whats the point if it doesn't pour out naturally?

Well, its never about a friend's friend that makes a difference but how good is a person at it that makes it good or not. ;)

Kisses.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Almost Loved,

I am happy for you. :)

Kisses.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear akd,

Thanks. :)

Kisses.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Ria,

I don't know if they do. Even if they do not, I do not mind cause they leave back sweet memories behind.

Kisses.

rainboy said...

Such relationships are rare...You're lucky to have one.

:)
be safe
http://smellofearthafterrain.blogspot.com/

Pesto Sauce said...

I agree with you, no point in making out with a person not interested. I have been there, done that....unenthusiasm washes off all one may be doing

Me-Era* said...

Hey! I just did a lovely tag and would like to pass it on to you. :)

Visit: http://lavender-woman.blogspot.com/2010/07/just-talks-about-me-tag.html

Ms.R. said...

A big big big hug!

You know I have a friend like that. G. And he's become so close over time that people who know us would suspect a romantic linking and shit. The thing is I respect him, he respects me and what we feel for each other is more than just casual friendship and less than love. Even with CM there were times when at 3-4am or whenever I wanted, I'd just ping him - it's like there are no barriers yet there are. Finally CM had to tell me, at night, especially when we're going to sleep, that time is just for CM, me and not CM, me and G. I laughed and ignored it. But then he was right. There are relationships you just can't define or put a name to. They're better left that way. :D

*hugs*

PS Even I'd really love to get to know you in reality :)

Mademoiselle Deva said...

I wonder what will be next. It's amazing when we feel THIS connection with someone, yes there is something magical in it.

P@ul@mi said...

girlfriend.. take care and let the magic speak..

hugs and more kisses

You Did Whaaat?! said...

I like your blog!!
Check mine out :)
http://youdidwhaaat.blogspot.com/

sulagna ™ said...

darling cheer up..i know i am almost a month late but i wish you so much joy and happiness..i wish you bouquets of roses and lillies, and baskets of chocolate, satin sheets and warm feet in blankets!!!

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S.A.D. BLOGATHON ANNOUNCEMENT

Luscious Sealed Lips and The Sassy Spinster had announced a Singles Awarness Blogathon Week, from February 9th'09 to February 13th '09 to mark the celebration of the Singles Awareness Day on February 14th'09.

The Final participants of the S.A.D. Blogathon are Saroj, Single Hilarity, d Rat and Piyush Tainguriya, along with my co partner, Chrys, who updated her blog everyday through out the week.

Please do visit their blogs and read their special and interesting S.A.D. posts on Singleton.

Thank you!