"So he slept in the Drawing Room", in the most expectant voice.
"Well... No. The first day we were all watching movies in my flat mate's room, so we slept there..."
"And the next day in the Drawing Room?", now her voice getting firm.
"No. In my room. On the Floor mattress." Both being a lie. We slept on my bed after exhaustive sex for those two days.
She decided to hang up on hearing my last line and not talk.
What is with Honesty, after all? Is it difficult because it is hard to admit or is it harder to accept? Maybe both. The fact that it is so hard for others to accept that others find it difficult to admit. Probably that is the reason why most of the honest people nowadays are considered 'blunt' and sometimes even 'ill-behaved' because they do not care whether you accept it or not.
For me, honesty has always been a matter of Self Honor. Be proud of what you have done else do not do it. This being the reason why I have never believed in lying except for times when I know it would hurt my mother or my sister. Also, I know I would want to tell them as soon as possible, at the closest right time.
So, this time, there were no secrets. G was coming for the weekend. He was staying with me. He is my boyfriend, everyone knows from day one, anyway. But, my sister thinks it is difficult for a couple to stay in one room and not get physical. And that is precisely what got her upset. Despite her long lectures and explanations about how G and I should not sleep in one room because 'it is different when your friends sleep with you and when your boyfriend does', he did sleep in my room and I did not lie.
The funny thing is, I hid my previous trips to G from them. My virginity is a secret and shall remain for some time. My mother hopes I will break up with G and ultimately marry a nice Muslim boy of her choice. What the truth is is still hidden.
Am I completely being honest? Do I have the balls to face the repercussions of these truths? Is this a question to my personal principles or am I exaggerating?
What makes people uncomfortable with letting out truth at any point of time to anybody, is that you will not be comfortable taking it in. Honesty, in actuality is as easy as you make it. But then how far does comfort decide the extent of honesty? I may let out all that I want to on this Blog, yet my identity remains in the dark and I am not even comfortable letting it out.
Funny how honesty plays around with you making you look like a big jerk in any situation, whether it is where you are lying or one where you are 'blunt' or just calculating how much is to be let out. Honesty is a bitch! And Honor? Fuck it!
P.S. - This had to be a post about G and his beautiful short trip to see me, but unfortunately things do not go the way you plan them. Sometimes you are thinking of something and something else would fuck up your mind to the extent of overtaking your original emotions that were meant to be expressed.
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17 comments:
not sure abt the analogy here...
coz i think to a certain extent sex like ones spiritual beliefs one shud keep to oneself...both for different reasons though
like i dont want to kno wat my parents do in their bedroom...for the same reason i wud feel it awkward for them to know wat i do in mine
honesty...and this is jst wat my mind is throwing up and i'm not sure abt it is something that starts from outside the bedroom door :)
honesty is wat lets us breathe deep and easy at night...its got mostly to do with being true to self...
mostly we dont even notice that we've been lying...not to others...but to our own dumb asses
Dear Sanely Insane,
I guess you are right. Somethings are personal.
Kisses.
Dear Sanely Insane,
Thankfully, I can say that with pride that I have never lied to myself. :) That is the worst you can do to your own self.
Kisses.
good to kno u sleep easy
Dear Sanely Insane,
:)
I hope you too.
Kisses.
some things are really at a personal level.
there is a comfort of guilt and no guilt, honesty and lies within ourselves which helps us evaluate us better. what others think is their way of thought.
if you sleep at night and have no qualms about the life ahead,
well you are pretty clear in your head and heart :)
It's quite unfortunate that generation gap and honesty don't mix and match. It will, eventually
Being honest is in fact good and increases feel-good-factor inside you. But if someone has a very high sense of honesty, he/she is going to land in great trouble...becoz straight trees are cut first.
damn.. for a split sec , i was thinking , u were cheating on G , big time.lol.......
and then somewhere in the fourth para , u were saying, G came to visit me...
hahaha :)
way to go luscious......
yea, being honest IS easy when you don't really care if the others can digest the truth or not, and one shouldn't really care too
when it comes to such personal things like what you do with your boyfriend, i agree with sanely-insane too. some things are personal and no one should really pry and ask too much.. specially family.
when i came back home after meeting Rish last time, my sister in law asked "so what all did you do???" as if she was my best friend. i said "everything!!!!" and walked on. she's like "everything!?!??!?!" and i knew she'd go and tell my bro. i ignored her. again in the night she asked me , i asked her innocently "Is kissing a crime?" and made a face. she was confused... Kia ki nahi kiaa??? lol
its very annoying when people ask questions with obvious answers.
in your case, you'll do what you have to do and will have to be totally honest with family at some point soon, they will eventually accept it, family does not have much option these days because giving up on love is not really an option for people like us :)
Honesty is good but you know everyone is entitled to their own opinions and maybe your sister's just didn't match yours.
So go ahead and be as honest as you want but be prepared that they may not take it the way you intended it. :|
I know honesty is sadly not much admired these days. And morever you know what you are doing, so don't let these things bother you
i would like to have my personal life remain personal...unless i decide otherwise.
Yeah we have to learn to play their game of 'supposed' honesty however much we dislike
honest is the best policy...at the end of the day,only we judge ourselves :)
tc
L S L,
Frank post. It is for all of us to respect space of each other. As far as limits of physicality between those in relationship are concerned it is their own look out as long as they do not doing something vulgar in public. Girl has equal right to decide what she wants but only difference is that girls are always at receiving end. No one will blame a boy much but when it is a girl hell breaks loose. As far as main issue about honesty in telling what you may or may not like, I suggest please read a short story " Mr Know All " by Somerset Maughm ( if I remember writer correctly ). It makes it very clear that at times one may need to hide facts.
Take care
PS : No visits?
To each his/her own I guess. So just stand up to what you believe in and don't let others try to dictate your life. :)
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