Monday, July 6, 2009


"I Love you and that too loads. (Please do not freak out, just having one of those I-Love-you-so-much days :P)" Message succesfully sent to G.

"Oh, you know I tried fighting with him yesterday, acting all pricey and he was shooo shweet. He kept calling back. Kept asking what happened. Was so concerned..."

"That is because you still have not crossed 6 months."

"I was talking to him in monosyllables. He asked me 'you do not want to talk?' And I said 'No', so he kept 'I Love you-ing' me."

The elder one jumped, "My guy! If I say No, he would say 'OK'."

"Better still, my guy would say a 'Hurray!' before the Bye, if I said 'No' to talking to him, with a little 'Thank you' too."

"Aww. Cho mean!"

There was a time when we were thick. Maybe we still are, somewhere. My two cousins still consider me extremely close to them but I seem to be moving away.

It is not just them. It is everybody. Maybe my blog too. I guess, living alone does not suit me. It kills me, professionally and personally, both. I hardly find people nice. I seem to have a problem with each one of them. And more so, cause I think they have a problem with me.

Trying hard to break free. Wake up with an attitude to kill, but once I am out of the house, I realize I left my sword behind. Have nothing to fight with.

Every single thing said by every single person irritates me. I want to shut myself in and yet be out fighting it. Because I do not like it. I do not want it.

No idea whether I am sinking or just floating in the middle of a deep blue sea.

Love 'n' Peace.



Kenneth said...

First of all - Welcome Back. Was missing reading you.

I know exactly what you mean with that irritation. Ther's no cure for that except tuning your mind to adapt to what you have in front of you and sure enough you'd see the positives

Retromus-ik said...

I feel like that sometimes, and I felt like that today. My coworker straight up took whatever was going wrong in his life at the moment out on me. He yelled, insulted me to my boss, and not only that, but roughly snatched a tool I was using out of my hands, and said I didnt know what I was doing. I felt like I was in some type of twilight zone. Needless to say I was upset, and I spent the rest of the shift washing the dishes to avoid all human contact.
*I did stand up for myself though*

Anywho enough about that;) I'm glad you're back, and some alone time is beneficial for us all. But, don't withdraw too much from the ones you love; at some point you may feel too far away, which may prevent you from getting it back. With family and close friends, I think it's never too late though; sometimes we just build a wall that we assume is impossible to break down.
Sorry for the lenthy comment;)

Fatima said...

Welcome back!

And same pinch! I find living alone such a dread. I'd rather be lying low only with my man. But all alone.. It's like my mind's a devil's workshop!

PULKIT said...

the conversation between u and ur cousins reminded me of the story of this novel by soma das titled "something of a mocktale" was quite funny the way its been written here! though straight , yet funny and sarcastic in its own way!
when My gal told me... never to talk to her again, I said "why is that?".
she said "u dont love me"
I said.."after all those years u think, I have not been in love with you"
she said"may be..."
I replied"then decide for yourself"
she said "I know what I am saying is right"
I didnot pushed it any furthur!
kept the phone down and dont know what more to say so have not called up again!

anyways... that was my similar expirience!

as far as ur personal life ...whatever u have written... Its a phase dear, hope you overcome the certain love of lonliness that you have started loving soon, its good to be lonely and enjoy soltitude at times but not always!
anyways.. tc god bless!


Randeep said...

Every single thing said by every single person irritates me..

:( I'm not saying anything...


you missing ur close ones... ?

AD said...

i was keeping a huge big eye on you and for sure you came back and tickled me in the right place :)

i just hope that whatever there is that u r goin thru [positive] takes you in to never let you go!


Cocoberry said...

i was missing you too and i'm thrilled to see a new post! welcome back and dont take such long breaks ya

lol @ the cousin - conversation

me : i dont wanna talk to you right now

(that happens when i am sooooooooo pissed that i want to be either kissed or left alone and kissing is not possible)

he : why babyyyyyyy..sorry na!

(even if he isn't that sorry)

me : please!!!!!!!!!!!

(sounding like having a heartattack)

he : fine, bye

*click* call disconnected. me shocked! How dare he!!

and then he calls back within 10 seconds

he : sorry naaaaa


there's just no point saying : i dont want to talk. we only really really need to talk

sanely insane said...

hmm funny how today morning only or was it yest...i was thinking abt this blog post to write...though i dont have the time or inclination to here goes

if u go to haridwar (as hopefully i will be this sunday) u see ppl diving off into the fast flowing ganges...and when u notice them u realize...that if u ever see a person drowning u'll prolly see them splaying there arms about fighting...while all they need to do is give up some control and flow with the water

life has a flow to it...things happen sometimes and we feel we are sinking, we get agitated, we start splaying our arms around coz we are afraid...lose the fear, breathe deep, let the river float u to the edge and enjoy the ride

ofcourse its not easy ( throw me into water and u'll see its not :P) so maybe jst start with breathing deep :) tht shud help

Anonymous said...

aww u wanna know the truth?
livin alone sucks...
everyone hates it. they say they dont but they do. thr r sum days when i end up missin not just my parnts n frnds but everyone ive ever known !

Anushay. said...

hahaha yes the discussing of the boyfriends. girl talk is always welcomeeee to us!

Insomaniac Junkie said...

plzz put some notification on ur blog as when u gonna write something new...
that will take my pain of opening ur blog again and again.....

P.S.: love ur blog..!!

Rane (The Orchid with All Shades Pink) said...

can I just say,,, this too shall pass?

god bless ya girl..and missed ya.. I am finally back to blogging.. hope you have not forgotten me..

it's the same old 'The Pink Orchid' or Kajal for you.. :)

Anonymous said...

Have a happy Independence Day!

Don't Be a Slut said...

Sometimes you have to honor your need for space ... including space in cyberspace.

Just keep an eye on yourself to make sure that a healthy need for space doesn't turn into unhealthy isolation or depression.

Be well!

O.F.C.J. said...

I have feelings of wanting to go out and do things but then my social skills sometimes fall flat. And my options seem bleak like I just turned around in a tight circle. URghh, I do hate that.

I will pray for you though. I know that can be very frustrating to experience.


Karthik Murali said...

one more competition for me huh ?

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