Sunday, April 19, 2009

A Long Night

"For what?"
"For not talking to you today.
For not talking to you yesterday.
For not talking to you the day before yesterday.
For not talking to you for the past 10 days.
For not talking to you for the past so many years."
I had to smile. It was cute. Talk about women getting easily flattered!
The cold voice continued, "It is okay."
"No! Say more. I want you to take out all your anger. Scream. Shout. Punch. Slap me."
"No. It is OK." without a change in the tone.
"What are you doing?"
"Are you going to sleep?"
"Yes. Maybe. Do not know."
"I am going out for dinner with my friend. I will call you back?"
"No. Let it be. We will talk tomorrow."
"Going to sleep? If not, then I will call you back."
"Fine. Then I will call you back. Bye Babe."
I hang up.
If he calls women 'manipulative', well, I can not defend myself, at least.

40 minutes later. Coldness does wonders. Gives you all the attention you have not got in a long time. ;)
"Still mad?"
"Then take it out, no!"
"Because I do not want to."
"Okay. Tell me, What is the worst question that I can ask you at this moment?"
"I do not know."
"Come on! Tell me."
"Asking me to forget it and let go off it?"
"Not a statement. A Question."
"Is my work done?"
"No. Something I ask more often. A question that is my favorite."
"What are you wearing?"
Strange, how he is deciding which of his questions is going to make me more mad at him. Huh. Of course him ignoring my anger and asking about my 'job' would make me angrier than him wanting to know what I am wearing! That actually makes me go pink from red than redder. (I guess he knew that! Huh. And he says 'Women are manipulative!')
"Yes! So, now that you have asked that yourself, answer it too."
"I have put the question. You answer it."
"What are you wearing?"
"I am not answering it. I am still angry."
"Right now, you almost forgot that you are angry."
"No. I did not! In fact, I do not even think we would be having this conversation if I did not let you know I am angry through my articulation. You would have instead, very conveniently called and said, 'L, I am so tired today. We will talk tomorrow.'"
"You know what? I actually came out to give company to my friends for dinner where I did not even eat because I had already had my dinner, just so that I could stay out and talk to you peacefully..... L, Lets talk tomorrow."
Okay! I, once again have said more than I should have.
After a good two minute silence.
"Say it again."
"Say it 15 more times. I apologized 17 times to you."
"Get Lost! I am not saying it one more time. My mistake is not bigger than yours."
"You have hurt me, Bitch. Apologize!"
"Alright. 10 more times. I am giving you a discount."
"I have said 'Sorry' twice. Want it? Take it else lose those two also."
"Alright. Five more and answer 'What are you wearing?'"
"Too much. Not answering."
"Final on 3 and answer."
"Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!"
"What are you wearing?"
"Do you really expect me to be all dressed up at 1:00 a.m.? I am in my Night clothes."
"Nice. You should have been here."
"For what? To have you watch your sports every weekend and spend no time with me?"
"Come on L! If you are with any other normal guy, you will face the same problem. So no point dumping me for this reason. Also, with no other guy can you have a conversation like you do with me."
"You know this American student got raped?"
"Yes by her own friends."
Changing the topic when your girlfriend is not saying more than a word is the best move.
"Men are such bastards. Isn't it?"
"It is not just that. But sadly, it is the Indian male mentality which thinks it is easier to get a lay from a Foreigner. And when you do not get it, in a drunken state, you rape her. It is not the first case."
"All the bad that happens in this world is because of men."
Even better if you blame yourself or the entire male species for something. Invisible Brownie points!
"Exactly. You are so right, G."
"Men should be eradicated!"
"Completely! A Woman gets upset because of a Man. A Woman abuses another Woman out of jealousy and insecurity because of a Man. A Woman abuses the Man because of how he is. A Woman feels sad and disrespected because of a Man. Men are such a curse."
"There should be a button and all men should vanish."
"Totally. The world will become so clean, tidy, civilized and full of love."
"Men are clean."
"Please! They keep their plates where they eat. They also do not make the efforts of throwing the left over apple after eating it. They..."
"I am just waiting for the day when we will not need men to produce babies."
"That is the only positive thing that men do. Produce babies."
"And there too they are so careless that God can not trust them with the responsibility of bearing a child."
"There should be a button in women, which when pressed would produce babies."
The conversation slowly sinking in! FUCK! A World full of only women?
"G, it will be a world full of dildos!"
"Well, you can keep some of them? Like your Boyfriends and Fathers?"
"Fathers, of course. It is so nice to have a father.... No Wait! Keeping your father would mean getting into the same cycle. You will have to get a father for your babies too. Damn. No. No men at all."
After the conversation entirely sank it. I took the right side. The No Men Land side.
"Gone. All men are already gone, L. I think I am the only one left because I am still having this conversation with you."
"Remember, when you go you will have no sports."
"Why not? I will be like a Spirit who can get and do whatever he wants to."
He was now seeing the positive side of it. Sports comes before sex!
"No G. You all will be completely non existent. Like, not there. Not even as spirits."
"Of course we will be."
"G, even if you are, there will be no Sports."
"Because there will be no men."
Phew. This conversation felt good. I won.

"You know I Love you, right?"
"I Love you too."
"You are the best man in this world. And I am not leaving you."
"Yeah. Who else will tell you to eradicate men?"
"How is the night there?"
"Breezy. Nice. Calm."
It was the perfect night for me. I just wanted to sleep in his arms having this conversation.
"I have to wake up early tomorrow."
"You must go to sleep."
"No. It is okay."
It was peaceful. It was our comfortable silence, in which I wanted to sleep.
"What is it tomorrow?"
"A Family thing and then the rest of the day will be occupied with allot of office work too."
"You can catch up on your sleep in the afternoon as well, right?"
"No. The schedule is slightly tight."
"Oh! Go. Go. Go to sleep."
"Okay. Bye Babe."
"Oh! You know what?"
Yes, women seem to find the most interesting and exciting things to share at the end of a conversation. Now, you know how two women can talk at length despite 1000 Byes.
"I saw this dream where I am sleeping. The room filled with the sound of Elton John and you reading a book to me over my head."
"Was it a Porn Book?"
"No! It was a Fairy Tale, I guess."
"If I am reading a book to you. It would be a Porn Book and my hand would be under your skirt. I would feel your breasts while reading. And put you to sleep after we are tired doing each other."
"No!", by now I was smiling in my half sleep. No! His descriptions were not boring. I was damn sleepy. It was almost 3 a.m., now.
"That is what we would do, L."
"No! My dream had a Cinderella, I think."
"Okay. Let us go to sleep now."
Men know when to end a conversation. Prolonging this would mean another one hour of Fairytale v/s Porn with no conclusions and no phone sex too.
"Okay. Good Night."
"Good Night Babe."
"I Love you."
"I Love you too."
"Big hug!"
"Big kiss."

"Keep the phone!"
"Mhhmm. Give me a hug, first."
"Big hug."
"Hhmmmm", comfortably tucked.
"Bye baby."

And I slept with his voice wrapping my relaxed body and calm senses.

Love 'n' Peace.



Ms.R. said...

That was so sweet and realistic to say the least. Read the whole thing with a smile on my face! :) Keep writing!

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Ms. R,

Thanks. :)


Anonymous said...

exactly.. i had my smile going too... very realistic to say the list..


CrAzY fReAk! said...

hey, that was very sweet and detailed, descriptive! :)
it was so true! and so well written!

Dipti said...

i am Mrs. R

aaa it was adorable...

hmm, i want that porn book once you are done with it

Kenneth said...

How do u remember such long conversations verbatim?

Rahul Viswanath said...

I have just fallen in love with your conversational posts ....
Way to go !! .... It makes me connect to my past & present ;-)

Anonymous said...

this cosmo i picked up a few days back said, tht the sexiest thing tht two people could do !!!
tht is soo true !! (the guys wud disagree though) :P
anyways, its really nice to be wid a guy wid whom, u can have a nice converstaion...especially wen its a long distance relationship tht ur staging.
cute :)

Anonymous said...

I really enjoyed this! I smiled through the whole thing.. I like the longggggggg byes... I think of things to say every time he says bye to me.. so I can keep on hearing his voice over and over again!

Thanks for stopping by Tomato!!


sanely insane said...

huckelberry finn!!!

these apologetic conversations have a thing about them :P

and men are manipulative too ;)

funnily only one woman has ever told me...i love u...that too on the fourth day of us meeting and with her three drinks down...exactly 15 minutes after she had been flirting with other guys...good to hear someone use it in a better way

eh eh i seem to kno this book and all...trying to recollect...where where

dont like virtual hugs and kisses though...but then i guess sometimes when the distance is a barrier not much else one can do

interesting post

Karthik Murali said...

i cant imagine that Luscious is dreaming about a "Men Free " World.. gosh.
maybe those "other" fantasies u talked about mite come true.....hahaha

and it surprises me even more that , u are one of the "Chicks" who still believes and dreams about Prince Charming coming up in a horseback, blonde hair, with a gleaming spear in one hand and a "romantic poetry" novel in another hand , climbs up the wall upto ur room,kisses u , reads poetry to u , and say be my princess.

i really expected u to be more of the Good Bad Ugly movie kind . u know ,like they say, when u got to shoot ,jus shoot , dont talk

Anonymous said...

Awww :)

I like the fairytale vs porn thing! Trust a guy to something like a fairytale into something dirty! :P

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Pink Orchid,



Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Crazy Freak,

Thank you.


Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Dipti,

You mean Expressive Silence? Ms. R?

Ask G for the Porn book. I dreamt of a Fairytale. :P


Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Kenneth,

This is Love, my friend.


Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Rahul,

I am happy you feel 'connected'. :)


Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Confusion Personified,

Well, if a woman talks to her guy about Sports or Sex, he would love to have a nice long conversation with his woman too. But then, we would not remain women, would we? ;)

Communication is all that a long distance has. That is why a long distance is always harder to sustain.


Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Ne,

Prolonged Byes are cute. I Love them too.


Anonymous said...

o my God, it reminded me of that someone who keeps naggin about what i m wearing and it so pisses me off and it aint even cute.
phone sex sucks if u ask me i just dont see the point of verbal stuff... anything without words does wonders for me :D i guess i m too much cold for this sorta stuff.
and darn i have so been in thie girls shoes, it is not even funnny!

i guess all grls have.
manipulative... i'd say emotionally blackmailed!

loved it!

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Sanely Insane,

There will be many more 'sane' women coming your way to mean an 'I Love you' to you. :)

You need to recollect? I thought most men were like that. :P


sanely insane said...

dear Luscious... a.k.a 'R'

'many more' ? i just need one...we'll see if she comes or not

a little bit is always healthy...they are called games of love...

as long as the heart is clean and the manipulation is not done with a bad intent...its works

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Karthik,

LOL. You are so eager to know about my 'other' fantasies!

Well, Did I say I was dreaming of a Prince Charming?

Cinderella is just one of those stories which make you go in the same innocent dreamland which you imagined as a kid, and slept smilingly listening to her 'sweet story'. :)

Now, yes, I am Good and Bad and Ugly. ;)


sanely insane said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Ki,

Completely. Trust a man with anything and it turns potentially dirty. :P


Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Saher,

If you are having sex exactly once or twice a year, phone sex is great. Also, phone sex needs both the partners to be great with words, because that is all that stimulates you, then.

I could be in the 'girly' shoes all my life. Why would you detest it?


Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Dear Sanely Insane,

I wish you find your R, your 'ONE', soon. :)

LOL. Kauru? Sounds like a nick name for the Kauravas. :P


sanely insane said...

yeah well...neways u have fun


sawan said...

u call 3 am as night?? mann, u shud try sleepin a lil early for a change. ur body needs rest!!

Purekrystal said...

I agree with you Lucious Sealed Lips,about Sanely Insane getting the"One" and only that's just for him and I pray that she will come to him swiftly,suddenly an soon and then we'll be able to make much ruckus about it.

I am skipping reading your pornography post.But I like the "A Long Night" post very much and enjoy it thoroughly.It's so fascinating how your guy called right out of the blue after all these years.

sanely insane said...

@PureKrystal...i am so kicked in the balls with love, that i'd rather not talk about it for a while now...a long while...the heart has been shut and barricaded...lord help the girl who tries to go for it

but thank u so much for ure concern

Sumit said...

this conversation was so real... kinda like deja vu for me!!

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Luscious Sealed Lips and The Sassy Spinster had announced a Singles Awarness Blogathon Week, from February 9th'09 to February 13th '09 to mark the celebration of the Singles Awareness Day on February 14th'09.

The Final participants of the S.A.D. Blogathon are Saroj, Single Hilarity, d Rat and Piyush Tainguriya, along with my co partner, Chrys, who updated her blog everyday through out the week.

Please do visit their blogs and read their special and interesting S.A.D. posts on Singleton.

Thank you!