11/30/2008
The recent terror attack in Mumbai was completely terrorizing. It has scared me. I feel like a cat hiding under a bed after having walked over the house's favorite pet Bull Dog's tail. Depressing.
Anyway, I was busy traveling all of these days, so came no posts. And then, there was a friend's wedding. That was great fun. Nice and chilly, too. We danced, drank and did not get drunk. I really wanted to. My friend freaked out. Thought her parents will object. I understand that. But I really want to get drunk one day in a different city with newly made friends, who would not want to take advantage of the situation. Making out or having sex with someone you do not know in a drunkard state in not my idea of fun.
Come to think of it, if I was not seeing G, making out with a hot guy in a semi drunkard state could be fun. BUT NO SEX. I have issues with Random and Unsafe Sex.
Tomorrow is AIDS Day. I feel bad for all those who are unaware. And hate those who intentionally want to pass it on.
G has had women before me. It did hit me one day. More for him than myself, I was concerned. We spoke about it. Thankfully, he too swears by safe sex. He has gotten himself tested too. He is safe.
It was an awkward moment between the two of us. I felt as his friend at that moment. It hit him hard, "because my girlfriend is asking me questions like these."
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12/13/2008
I wrote the previous lines, but did not get the chance to complete and post. My sister had come down. She is probably that one person in my life, for whom you can live, die, kill, simply do anything for. She is like my mother. She has spoilt me. Brought me up. She is nine years elder to me. And we are poles apart. Today, she is nearing a divorce.
My sister was not happy in the past 7 years. She never spoke of it, but I could feel it. I joke about it to her. Reassure her that she would fine. Her future - better. Way better. But it hurts me to no extent to see that pain which she has gone through. Today when she has for the first time made a decision on her own, everyone around me not only realizes how much she must have really suffered but makes me proud that finally she is taking a decision.
What she will study - Parents' decided.
Who will she marry - Parents' decided.
Whether she will work - Husband decided.
Where will she stay - Husband decided.
How much will she eat - Husband decided.
She lived. She smiled. She did not complain.
This is her first decision. She has never done anything in life for herself. If, since last night she is thinking of giving him another chance, it is because he is asking for it. She really does not want to go back.
Luscious apologizes to her readers for being away. But I feel sad. I feel terrible. I feel helpless. Luscious can not love and care about anyone more than her sister. Luscious wants her sister to be happy. To be free. For once, live her life. For once, give herself a chance.
I Love you.
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midnight musings
1 year ago
