All is FAIR in Love

"Do you really think this relationship is going one sided and that you are the only one making efforts to make this work?"
"No, G."
"Then why do I get that kind of a feeling. That kind of a vibe from you?"
"G, there is a difference in being busy and not putting effort in a relationship. First of all, I really do not think, our relationship is at a stage where it needs efforts from me or you, for it to survive. Secondly, you are 'busy', my love. And that is it. Right now, you are busy and I understand that. Later, when I am busy, you will have to understand. We need mutual understanding, no efforts."
"You know, the last five minutes are the reason why I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
"Ah... Now you dare take advantage of that."
We laugh.
"I Love you."
"I Love you too."

*************************************************************************************

"I do not know why do people think T is beautiful."
"I don't find her beautiful too."
"She is just 'fair'."
"Exactly. I guess she looks good to us because she is a very sweet person."
Interrupting, my mother insists, "Look, by Indian standards she is beautiful."
Both, simultaneously, "No Mom. What is wrong with?"
"She is." Overtly emphasizing.
"Mom! Fixing up marriages has ruined your taste for good looking women."
"You can not say that about me. I love dusky women. They are the most attractive ones."
"Exactly. Dusky is sexy."
The phone rings.

"Oh! I am assuring you. The girl is very pretty. She is fair."

My mom loves fixing up marriages. And people love and trust her enough as well. She is quite popular. Everyone loves my mom.

She has been fixing marriages for over five years now. Fixing marriages is quite a funny art. I have always been very amused. Someone says 'I want a young, fair, tall, well qualified, religious, adjusting girl who would stay at home, take care of the house, in laws and raise kids.' Second demand is of a 'Tall, well qualified, 'well settled' (read rich) boy living in the U.S., who (of course) does not smoke, drink, have had any past relationships and a virgin.'

It is funny how these classifications assure them of having a good daughter/son-in-law or a wife and a husband. My sister got engaged to her husband the very next day after having met him. They spoke for about an hour 'getting to know each other' and decided to marry. He thought my sister 'looked' decent and sweet. My sister thought 'if my mother likes the boy's family so lets go ahead'. I still have not understood what has that got to do with her life. Clueless.

I just might spare the 'aunties' and 'uncles' who classify girls and boys into 'good' and 'bad' on some strange parameters, probably because they went through something similar. They lived in a closed society that would not allow them to make a sensible decision, ever, so they do the same to their kids. But I am left surprised how young men and women, sometimes even, boys and girls (because they are so young) have the same wants as their parents. Has the world come to an end? And the dinosaurs ate up all the brains?

The guy for whom my mom is hunting a 'perfect' girl strictly demands a 'fair girl'. They guy is 'well educated' 'not fair' 'settled abroad' 'well settled' 'not a virgin' (I guess), but rejected this damn attractive girl my mother introduced him to because he 'thought' she was not 'fair enough'. WTF! Are you going to lick that creamy face and imagine it to be whipped cream? WTF are you going to do with a fair cunning body? How the fuck do you plan to live an entire life with a FAIR BITCH? or a Religious Slut? or a Rich Pimp? or a Working Abroad Disrespectful Disloyal Husband? WTF are you going to do with the list of unreasonable pointers you have made to 'compromise' your life with?

It is funny.

No wonder Indian Arranged Marriages make a popular subject for Foreign made Indian Films or aspiring Indian/NRI writers. These books and movies are a tale of a country's stupidity, charm, insensibility. Me thinks, such check lists are also a form of dowry. It should be illegal. You do not have 'something' they 'demand', the marriage is called off. No wonder the cosmetic shops are overflowing with Fairness products for every skin tone and type.

Maybe, G's ex should try doing the same. She is one hell of an attractive woman. Her current boyfriend's mother says, "She is not attractive. She is dark." I was speechless. Her boyfriend's mother is also on the duskier side. And her boyfriend is not doing much to convince his mother either. She is one of the sweetest persons I have met. (Yes! Despite her being a very strong and loved ex girlfriend of G)And that asshole is probably going to lose a very attractive beautiful person. I feel sad for him. I feel sad for everyone who have lost or earned 'beautiful' people.

They liked the 'fair' girl whom my mother was trying to fix up for the NRI guy. She was fair. And she spoke exactly 5 sentences in grammatically correct English. :)

God Bless.

Love 'n' Peace.

Hugs.
Kisses.

P.S. - Life or Something Like It recently awarded me the 'Cuteness Blogger Award'. She says, "cuteness is unzipped". :) Thank you so much. My first, from a Blogger. WOW! Love you. Hugs 'n' Kisses.

Why blame it on PMS?

"I did not mean the sorry."
"OK. Then I am sorry."
"No. Please do not be if you do not mean it. I did not mean it and that is why I am telling you. I want to be honest."
"OK. Then even I am not sorry."
"Shall we go for some tea?", he asked in his sweet voice.
"No. I do not want to talk. Bye."
"Bye."

I stared at the phone for ten minutes by the watch. He did not call back. I sobbed like a call would save my relationship. We obviously had 'nothing to talk', according to him.

Called him all day. He was busy. Understandable. No issues. Like always, when we talk, he tells me everything about his office, his friends, his plan for the next 3 hours. Sometimes, he sounds like Sunali Kulkarni's boyfriend from Dil Chahta Hai. The one who remembers the day date time and place where he used to buy a 'heart shaped' balloon from. LOL. Subodh was his name. Then I tell him how my plans of coming to his city have changed and the chances of shifting there are seeming difficult. He pleads how I should try my level best. He also scolds me on something I should be doing but am not. And then all of a sudden says, 'OK. Bye'. I ask for more time and he says the usual, "We have nothing to talk." And as always, he has decided for me too that we have nothing to talk.

Ofcourse, I have lost it. I am angry. I am hurt. Hurt more than angry. We fight over how I do not want to talk to him now and he insists on how we should, now. I tell him in my true irritable tone, "You are irritating me." Well, if you try babying your woman at the wrong time. Trust me, you are nothing but annoying her. I scream. Am rude. He probably (obviously) did not like the way I was talking to him. We hang up.

I call him back to apologize. He accepts and we hang up immediately again. He had 'nothing to say'. My tone was cold. Trying hard to feel that way too but failed.

We fought over the same thing just two nights before. We had phone sex and within 5 minutes 'we had nothing to talk', as if talking for those 5 minutes was also a part of 'Lets talk otherwise she will feel how selfishly I hung up right after sex'. I did express my complaint on 'how we do not talk' but did not mention how weird it felt. I maybe wrong in the way I am feeling. I hope I am but how come I never get to decide whether we have something to talk or not?

I am definitely not somebody who likes sticking to the phone. I do not even like talking on the phone. It is a bloody waste of time. But there is just one person I want to talk my heart out to. Unfortunately, lately I am nearing something I dread - Feeling uncomfortable talking about anything to him. The last time when I wanted to talk about my sister's decision. I did not talk to him about it, not because I did not want to, but cause I did not know how to. If this continues I will slowly forget my comfort with him. I will forget how to talk to him carelessly about everything. Communication is the only fucking thing that keeps a relationship alive. I do not want to lose that.

I understand he gets tired. He wants to be with himself. He just does not want to talk. But please do not try covering that with a 'we have nothing to talk about'. I was hurt because I really had allot to say, hear and talk about. And have it for many days. I agree I do not start 'talking' immediately, like it was all pre decided or computerized in my head - 'Next pause and start with your story, L'. And before you reach your comfort zone and start what you want to, you can do nothing but talk to yourself about it. When the other person has already decided for me too, whether I have something to say or not, then what am I suppose to do?

I hate being the first one to call all the time. I hate being the one who wants to always 'talk'. Makes me feel like I am pushing him into doing something he does not want to do. That is not even the last thing that I would want.

I know I have hurt him today with my behavior. It hurts me more to know that I have hurt the man I love. I would do anything to see him happy. Probably even stop expecting him to hear me when I want to 'talk'. But would I be doing any good to myself? Our relationship? To him? Faking, really isn't good. Let us not call it 'compromise'. We all know how much 'compromises' keep us happy. Either understand or clear it out. I do not know what to do. Would he understand what I am trying to clear out? Or would he call it another 'PMS Conversation'?

Love 'n' Peace.

Hugs.
Kisses.

P.S. - This post is dedicated to Dipti. She helped me find out something I have been trying to figure out over months. Why do couples have PMS fights? She said, "pms fights are mainly because the guy starts getting worked up the moment you tell them you are pmsing, cuz they start dreading from that moment that you will be a different intolerable horrible woman for the next few days lol" I Love you, Dips. :) Big hug and a big kiss for you.

Love is a Funny Game

"Were you expecting something?"
"YES! My Flowers!"
She laughed, "Your Black Roses have arrived."
She hung up.

"Oh my Fucking God!"
"What happened? Who called?"
"It was my sister. My flowers have arrived."
"Are they not late?"
"I was not here, remember? So, they are bang on time."
"Wow..."
Cutting in, "And they are BLACK ROSES! FUCK! I can not get over that."
"Black Fucking Roses! Where did he find those?"
"I do not know and I do not care."
Drooling. Looking up.
"You know. I must have told him some random time of the day that I love and crave for Black Roses and Good Lord, FUCK! I don't believe he has sent me BLACK ROSES!"
"Lucky Bitch."

I run back home. The distance from P's house to mine seemed the longest that day. I just could not wait to get home and see what do my Black Roses look like? What is written in that little card?

I bang open the door to an irritating sister whom I had to chase, scream at and finally bribe for a movie to give me my hidden flowers. I find a beautiful bright bunch of Red and Yellow Roses. The thought of Black Roses had vanished. They were flowers from G. My first Valentines Day flowers. What more did I need. So what, if those flowers were begged for, from G ;). My sister thought it was cheap of me to ask him for flowers on our first Valentines. I did and I am not ashamed of it. :)

"You got my flowers?"
Panting, "Yes."
"Do you like them?"
Still panting, "Yes."
"You sound disappointed."
"I traveled, ran and screamed too much for these flowers. The excitement is going but I love them."
I assured him. He understood.

I wake up to those flowers everyday. They are kept right up on my head. The first thing I see when I shut and open my eyes are the yellow and red roses protruding out of the vase.

He thinks, we women find happiness in very small things. True. All women I know love the small things more. In fact, this one friend of mine is showered by expensive gifts at least 5 days a week. She hates it. She has actually started throwing his gifts away. It is easier to please women than it seems. My sister proved it to me in a big way today.

She was on a verge of a serious divorce. This issue was not taken too seriously by neither her husband nor her in laws, despite my parents getting involved. She had all the reason to leave him and never go back. It is never about a mistake when we break relationships but about natures. Unfortunately, he has some serious problems, which we could all see.

"He is coming tonight."
"So, finally after three months he thinks he should come here and ask you to come back?"
She smiles. She has defended him all through her 7 years of marriage with this smile.

They talk all night. They talk all through the day.

"L, I do not feel anything. I know what I want. I thought, his face would make me doubt my decision, but no. It just does not. And I am happy. I do not want to go back."

Mom goes to talk to him and is out of the room in no time, sobbing. She could not see his 'Sorry face'. Momssss.

By the evening, we are expecting him to leave.
"I think I want to give him another chance."
I look her straight into the eye, questioning why?
"L, I am a God fearing person. I do not want God questiong me, Why did I not give this man ONE chance. Maybe he will change....
I have never seen him cry like this before. He is promising he will change. I want to try. I do not want to regret later that I did not give him any chance."
"You are doing this for yourself or God?"
"Both."
"Okay."
She stands looking at me waiting I would react in a more expressive way. I am too shocked to do that. She sits bside me.
"I want you to try and like him too."

She knows I do not like him. I have had a disgusting past with him, where he has felt me. Not once, but many times, despite the warnings, untill last year when I yelled at him in front of my sister. He managed to convince her that I was assuming and misunderstanding it all. Anyway. Fuck that.

"I will try, just as I did in the last 7 years."
"That was faking. I want you to really try. He genuinely considers you as his sister."
"Right."
This was our second uncomfortable long silence. The first, when just to make it easier for her and end the matter I accepted that I maybe assuming about her husband. The second was again in his favor.

"To be honest. I do not find your decision right."
"I know. I can see it all over your face."
"I fail to understand how can this decision taken in minutes be stronger than the decision taken in years?"
She expects me to understand and I assure her that I will.
"I will be happy, when I see you happy."
We end it there. Mom is happy because she thinks he deserves another chance on human grounds.

They all go out for a movie.

I stay at home. Speak to G. He sings for me. Coaxes me to tell him what is wrong, but I do not feel like talking about it. Its something that is making me think.

Am I someone who is always encouraging people to break off their relationships?

Every time I see P unhappy, I tell her to walk out of her relationship. I was the first one to support and encourage my sister to take this big decision. I have always believed, if you are not happy in a relationship, move out. Do not make a joke out of it by dragging it on some silly grounds. I have encouraged break ups and divorces for one reason and that is to make them believe that 'it is alright to move on and choose a happy life for yourself.' But, am I wrong? Am I, the one taking rash and harsh decisions of breaking up a relationship? (even if it is for ohers) It makes me go crazy. I do not want to be responsible for encouraging people to break up. I just want to encourage people to love themselves and be happy.

She asked, "If G asked you for a second chance, would you give it to him?"
"Depends on how much has he hurt me?"
"I agree. Yet?"
I did not answer. I knew my answer. I would not.

He called. We spoke. He sang to me. Narrated some stupid Pineapple joke, just to make me laugh. I would.

I love G so much that I would give in to the demands of my heart and give him another chance if he'd hurt me to the extent of a break up. And just then, I hear a door bell, as if my moment was being filmed for a Bollywood Feature.

"It is a courier for you."
It is from G. There is my Valentines Goody Bag. A pair of beautiful earrings, I can not wait to wear for him. Two DVDs he had promised he would send me. A box of heart shaped dark chocalates which I was praying for just a minute back to help me stop the unstoppable tears. And my Valentines Day card, which said, "we are fucking good tiogether." We are.

Love is funny. When they come back from the movie. I will help her believe that I accept her decision. Though I desperately pray she sees a far better future with him, now. And lives happily ever after.

I Love you G. No matter how hard I tried keeping you away from my troubled state. You were there to make me feel good, in the form of flowers, songs, cards, chocalates and in thought.

Thank you God. I Love you. Happy Valentines Day to all of you! Special V Day Hugs and Kisses.

Love 'n' Peace.

Hugs.
Kisses.

Singleton still remains Sexy

After a long spell, Luscious is back. As I had already informed my readers, I was on a vacation, which was allot of fun. In the mean time fell, mine and Chrys' S.A.D. Blogathon Week, which we planned with so much of ebullience, love and excitement. Fortunately, we received an enthusiastic response but not all were able to participate and update their blogs during the week because of their own valid reasons (including me). Never mind. We loved your interest, anyway and are thankful to you for that. :)

Nonetheless, we have with us five beautiful Bloggers, who promised and updated their Blogs during the Week. They joined us in the celebrations of the Single Awareness Day, which falls on the 14th day of February, along with Valentines Day. I apologize profusely for being late, but I hope these Blog posts on the beauty of Singleton, by our participants shall make up for it.

Chrys and I invite you to be a part of our celebrations, as we celebrate the Singles Awareness Day, in our own little way.

Please visit our Participants' Blogs, read and comment. It would be a great way of showing us your contribution and your thoughts on Singleton.

S.A.D. Blogathon Week's participants are,


Single Hilarity
Saroj
d Rat
Piyush Tainguriya
and
Chrys, my gorgeous Co-Planner and Supporter, who celebrated the Week truly, updating her blog everyday, all through the Blogathon Week.

Thank you Saroj, Single Hilarity, Piyush and d Rat for your contributions and helping us make S.A.D. Blogathon possible.

Special Thanks to Shoe Girl, who helped us look for the perfect S.A.D. Blogathon Participant's badge and wanted to participate as well, but sadly could not. This is the badge she sent to us, which we have further passed on to our Participants. They shall (hopefully) put this badge up on their blogs, which would indicate their participation in the S.A.D. Blogathon.



And Chrys, Thank You! You have been a great Co-Partner and Supporter. Thank You for putting up with me and my absence so patiently. Love you. Hugs.

Thanks to all those who have already read these posts and to those who are going to. :)

Love 'n' Peace.

Hugs.
Kisses.

Reading how to Ruin Romance?

Most of my female readers have grown up on Cinderellas, Beauty and the Beast, Rapunzel, The Little Mermaid (This one was my favorite) and many other 'And they lived happily ever after...' Fairy tales. I blame these Fairy Tales to be the BIGGEST culprits for ruining romance. They make each woman believe that there is a Prince Charming, A Knight in the Shining Armour, Someone who would come riding on a horse and sweep the world beneath their feet, Sing songs in praise of their beauty and then they both would kiss and live a happily ever after life. Huh. Ofcourse.

And then came the Mills and Boons, The Love Story, The Pride and the Prejudice, The Jane Austen's, Casablanca, Notting Hill, Moulin Rouge, Gone With the Wind, etcetra, etcetra. The list is endless. They have further cashed on the emotion called 'love' and made it worst for us love fools. We live breathe eat sleep die love. And then came the Self Help books. They claim to help you find the 'PERFECT MAN' for you. They will tell you what is a man like if he opens the door for you from his right hand. They will tell you what is wrong with the man you are currently dating. They will tell you how you are ruining your life and and losing yourself by living with a man who blows his nose a little too loudly. (Yeah! Probably blowing his nose loudly is a LOUD sign that he is careless and irresponsible.) This way or that - YOU ARE RUINED IF YOU ARE READING!

I have definitely grown up on the best of Fairy Tales, but THANK GOD, I grew up AFTER that and never read any of those soft bound Love tales which present some horrible writing styles. The only Self Help Book that I have read, or rather was forced to read was "You Can Win". God! My school and Mom, both loved it and they read it to us if we did not read it ourselves. But then that is the point! That is what books do. They try to take over our lives. We read with an open mind and would want to imbibe, believe and live by the same words. Where does that leave YOU? It simply leaves you as a mere SUBJECT of their stupidity. You lose YOURSELF!

The whole point being, since we have GROWN UP on such Love Stories, we start believing in them. We believe everything is perfect. We try so hard to make everything perfect. Whether it is kissing on a yatch or being always pretty for your guy. We do things which are unnecessary, unwanted and not even desired for. Maybe not even ourselves! Ask yourself deeply, do you really want to do this? Doing something just because it seems romantic, is not real love. How many times, do we do unnecessary, unwanted things for 'others' whom we love? Parents, Friends, Siblings, Pets....? We do not! Because it would not be 'Romantic'.

And when we try so hard, yet things do not fall the way we see them, we feel disappointed, cheated, disheartened. Why? Only because we had a different picture all through our life in our minds and we see something else. So, the ones who realized this took this upon themselves as a moral responsibility to save every woman from being trapped into the Fairy Land and believing in having a Prince Charming. So, what these women did, they started writing about how EVERYTHING is wrong in your relationship, your man. Obviously, women believed that too and 'helped themselves'. WOW! We hope, we dream, we love, we lose, we fight back and how? By killing our own selves. How ruthlessly romantic is that?

It is sad when we start expecting too much from our relationships. It is a sin to classify certain expressions under 'for men' and 'for women'. Why can not a man be shy? Why can not a woman first say she loves a man? Why can not a woman go and ask a man to marry her or ask him for sex? Why can not a man say 'no' to sex? Why? Ofcourse you can. You can say, do, date, love whoever whenever wherever you want. We do not need to expect our men to get us flowers all the time and say the right things to pamper us, always. Do they not deserve to be pampered, to be left alone when wanted?

All we need to understand is that we are individuals. It is important to stay connected with ourselves, it is only then can we love and love happily. No boundations. No expectations. No rules. No nothing. Accept how things are and more importantly, accept how you are. You find it difficult to express, no pressures, my love. You do not want to talk on the phone or you'd rather play FIFA than 'talk' , it really is NO CRIME. It is your life. You would probably do the same with your Mom. Ask her to go away when you want to play FIFA. We girls need to learn a bit, practise a little and bring a big change. And guys, you all really do not HAVE to get 'emotionally blackmailed' always. Sometimes, please do. (Puppy face.)

Yes yes yes. Realization dawns upon me too. I NEVER had imagined I could be a pain in the ass. But, to my biggest surprise. I managed to 'be a girl' allot of times. For no rhyme or reason I'd start a 'You don't talk to me...' fight. Gawd! If I was in G's place na, I would have gotten into the phone and given one tight slap. Gosh! I find myself really irritating sometimes. In G's words 'Stop being a girl ya...'

Love 'n' Peace.

Hugs.
Kisses.

P.S. - Luscious is going away for a long time. A sort of vacation with family. Will also meet G for a day. We are planning to go for our first Movie Date, together. (See, again... 'FIRST MOVIE DATE'... Romantic no? Huh. We women, can we help this about ourselves? Ssshhh... I like being this way sometimes. ;) )

Single Awareness Day - Blogathon Week

Valentines Day is about a month away and as most may not know it is also celebrated as S.A.D. "The Singles Awareness Day". So as a worshipper of love, Luscious Sealed Lips and The Sassy Spinster have decided to celebrate this Single Awareness Day with all of you in our own way.

We are announcing a week long (February 9th '2009 to February 13th '2009) Singles Awareness Blogathon. And we cordially invite each one of you to come be a part of this run for love. (You do not have to be "single" to be a part of this. You could be married, committed, engaged, in an open relationship or whatever to participate and celebrate Singlehood.)

How can you be a part of this?
Please e-mail or comment in the comment box, your
Name
Blog Address (Blogger, Wordpress, Live Journal, all are welcome)
E-mail Address (This shall remain private)

Next step.
After you commit to participate by giving us your details. You will have to copy paste this announcement on your blog. This way we spread the word and invite more people. :)

Rules.
1) You must update your blog with atleast one post on Singlehood between February 9th '2009 to February 13th '2009.
2) The post should be in English, preferably.
3) It HAS to be about the niceness of Singlehood. Any post which talks about the sad or dark sides of Singlehood shall not be considered. After all we are celebrating Singledom, isn't it?
4) The post can be of any nature. An anecdote, poetry, fiction or whatever you like. (But it has to highlight the beauty and advantages of singledom.)

What will we do?
On February 14th '2009, Sassy and I will check out all the blogs of the participants and update our blog with the list of links of all those who have updated. That way, we all can check out, comment and rate our favorites.

So, are you all ready?

On your mark... Get set... Go.....

Love 'n' Peace.

Hugs.
Kisses.

P.S. - Any doubts or questions, feel free to ask. Thanks! :)

M.A.D.

Statutory Warning - THIS AINT A POST

I am in such a terrible mood that I feel like scribbling on my blog. Since I can not do that I am writing this post from the right side. I do not know. Probably this is my way of taking out my anger. Anger?

Okay. So we have not spoken spoken in a long time. Guess what? This did not even strike me until he made me realize it himself by mentioning it yesterday and said, "I want to talk all night. Its been a while since we have talked for long. In your words 'talked talked'." I was alright the way it was going. No issues. BUT, he said something of THIS sort and I WOULD NOT grab the opportunity? Huh. You have got to be kidding me. I was fucking tired, sleepy. Infact had called him to say good night at 21:45 it self when he just mentioned it and as an overexcited fool I tell him I'll call him as soon as I am free. (People were around). And so, I call only to discover he has gone off to sleep. F-U-C-K-E-R!

That evening it self he made me feel so good. He said something he has never said before and trust me the post was going to be all about that, but I guess he did not want my blog look too sugary. So, he made my day today again b saying something extrmely sweet. Tonight I was not really in the mood to talk, but he seemed to. O.K. Another opportunity, grab it with both hands. ...........................................................................................................................................................................................................

Y.A.W.N.

He spoke for a full 32 minutes on the phone about something. Mind you, HE spoke for THIRTY TWO MINUTES ALONE! I was honestly bored. I was having fun watching good music on music channels after a long time, but NOW I was sleepy to the core. It made me MAD. I was not pissed, sad or even upset. But I was mad at him. I was mad at him for boring me. For talking to me about something so random and boring when I really wanted to 'talk'. Fuck.
















Sigh. Feels good. I think I just did not have a great day. I am in one of my phases where I need to be with myself. I am simply over reacting. And trust me, no matter how 'boring' it may have sound. It was something that would have interested me if only the time and mood were right. I had heard everything he said. I love how he talks about EVERYTHING. Even after putting me on No. 8 of his list. This New Year Diary that I gifted him comes 1st followed by his

• I Pod
• Music on Laptop
• Laptop
• His favorite T.V. sitcom
• His home theatre
• This one I do not remember

I Love him ya. I can not help but find everything interesting about him. Simply because I am interested in him. He is the love of my life. And oh dear, he has heard much boring crap from me than I could ever hear from him. But that is what partners do. They listen. They hear. They speak. They are interested. They are so not interested. They love you. They are bored of you. They will always be there for you.

Love 'n' Peace.

Hugs.
Kisses.

P.S. - I need some time off. I want to be ONLY with myself for a while. :)